If you have a ruler in your heart and keep the precepts, you can meet a better self.
people reach the middle age and walk to the half slope.
some people say: "in this life, the greatest enemy is himself, and the most difficult to defeat is himself."
We can't stop the passage of time, but we can choose what kind of attitude we should take towards life.
after the age of 40, people who are really self-disciplined have given up these nine things.
Don't drink three drinks
Don't get drunk
some people are in their prime, but they are sick and weak; others are still Hale and hearty in their twilight years.
it is often a different way of life that opens the gap between people.
take a closer look at the middle-aged people who suffer from three high, fatty liver and stomach diseases:
out of ten, nine have wine bureaus all the year round.
long-term drinking brings a heavy burden to health.
when people reach middle age, the biggest crisis actually comes from themselves.
the more serious the crisis is, the more vigilant you are and the more you need to take care of your health.
so be nice to yourself.
your good luck is hidden in your good habits.
Don't drink alcohol
"since there is no escape from life, it is better to get drunk and solve a thousand worries."
for middle-aged people, every cup of "stuffy wine" that they drink by themselves is a "sad wine" with no place to dispel.
at a certain age, open your eyes and be surrounded by people who depend on him, but there is no one he can rely on.
what you need to do at this time is to become your own ferryman.
think of a short story.
an old friend of Lin Qingxuan's, recently life is not going well, find him relieved.
Lin Qingxuan thought again and again and wrote down only four words as a gift: often think of one or two.
Old friends are puzzled.
Lin Qingxuan explains:
"Life is not satisfactory, nine times out of ten, unsatisfactory things in life account for the vast majority.
but after deducting 80% to 90% of the dissatisfaction, at least 12% of the things are satisfactory, happy and gratifying. "
I think so.
in this world, there is no more worry, only the mood of impassability.
instead of drinking sorrow alone in the dark, it is better to light a lamp for yourself in the moment.
Let it go through the vicissitudes of life and be safe and sound.
Don't drink and persuade
on the wine table, the cups are staggered and the cups are changed.
people who are keen on persuading and drinking alcohol are mostly glib, not out of kindness.
people seem to be warm-hearted, but in fact, they are swords and swords, calculating four volts.
when people reach middle age, they learn to reject hypocritical politeness and filter their own circles.
Don't go to dinner with the committee snake, and refuse to persuade others to cheer and cheer.
not greedy three things
not greedy for money
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when Qian Zhongshu was young, the media asked him for an exclusive interview and was willing to pay a high fee.
Qian Zhongshu only smiled faintly: "I have been surnamed Qian all my life. Will I still believe in this thing?"
the best state of life, after all, is not in the material, but in the inner thickness.
Zhuangzi has a saying: greed for money and take danger.
how many people broke the bottom line and their reputation was tarnished.
how many people betray their morals and go to jail.
how many people have gone astray and ruined their lives.
the first half of life, the pursuit of flashy, led by desire to move forward.
the second half of life, conquer desire and keep a sober mind.
not greedy for name
I like a story in the Book of later Han Dynasty very much.
Feng Yi is one of the famous "Yuntai 28 generals" under Guangwu Emperor Liu Xiu.
whenever he wins a battle, other generals will compete for merit and wish they are famous all over the world.
only Feng Yi, a person sitting under a tree, never cares about these false names.
but when the soldiers were rearranged, almost everyone said they only wanted to follow Feng Yi.
later, those generals who coveted fame were hidden in the clouds of history.
Feng Yi, who keeps a low profile and has no dispute, has been praised by the world.
there is a saying in Yan's Family motto: "the staff sergeant forgets his name, and the sergeant makes a name."
A true wise man never pursues the fame of the outside world. It is your nature and yours.
as the saying goes: if you are not indifferent, you cannot be clear-minded, and if you are not quiet, you will never be far away.
when you reach the age of forty, you can live your true self if you don't live in the eyes of others.
not greedy for color
Zhihu has a question: how to keep marriage fresh?
highly praised the answer:
"the real novelty is not to do the same thing with different people, but to do everything with the same person."
when people reach middle age, marriage is like besieging a city.
after seven years of itching, there are always moments when I meet some new faces and I can't help but feel ready to move.
how many husband and wife fight, temptation comes to fly.
for people who are emotionally undisciplined, their marriage is like a castle in the air, which may collapse at any time.
once you cross the moral bottom line, you can't take it back, and you can't live magnanimously for the rest of your life.
in the second half of life, in the face of sexual relations, there is a ruler in mind and a degree to get along with each other.
Don't say three words
Don't talk big
when Zeng Guofan first entered the Imperial Academy, he liked to talk big.
once, a fellow-villager came to wish his father a birthday.
Zeng Guofan boasted about himself with a smug look on his face.
as a result, the other party fell out on the spot and left in a huff, which made the birthday party very embarrassing.
only then did Zeng Guofan wake up and regret his improper words and deeds.
to show off yourself, instead of winning the approval of others, you will humiliate yourself and reveal your own shallowness.
to be a man full of big words, if you are light, you will offend people, and if you are serious, you will get into trouble.
in psychology, there is a "Duck effect": the lower the cognitive level, the more self-righteous people are.
people who are really reliable tend to keep a low profile and are introverted and never show off.
an online survey shows that 60% of the people in the world like to talk about others and things that have nothing to do with them.
too much gossiping not only reduces work efficiency, but also leaves a bad impression on others.
if you talk too much about right and wrong, if you listen to a variety of people, you will have more trouble.
there are a lot of gossip in the world, and people with high EQ will never gossip regardless of the occasion.
Book critic Fan Deng had a conversation with psychologist Li Zhongying:
Fan Deng: "when a person falls into negative emotions and can't get out, what should he do?"
Li Zhongying: "first ask this person how many years he intends to live."
Fan Deng: "if it is 30 years."
Li Zhongying: "are you going to carry this burden for 30 years?" Or do you want to let go of this burden and walk easily for 30 years? "
Fan Deng: "of course I want to let go of the burden."
Li Zhongying: "who will help you lay down your burden?"
Fan Deng: "just me."
maturity is the ability to transform external blows into self-healing energy.
writer Liu Na said:
"the rivers and lakes are just a lot of noise, and after a big scene, they all have to leave.
Life is no more than a spiritual practice. Only by keeping the precepts can you accomplish your mission. "
Middle-aged people standing halfway up the mountain have never been easy.
if you have a ruler in your heart and obey the precepts, you can meet a better self.
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