people talk to each other, make each other feel comfortable, is a person's most basic self-cultivation.
Zeng Guofan has a saying: talk like water and do things like mountains.
in the conversation between people, making each other feel comfortable is the most basic self-cultivation of a person.
A person's words often reveal his character the most.
when some people open their mouth, it makes people feel like a spring breeze, while others make people feel on pins and needles when they open their mouth.
the same is true of network communication, which reveals the truest heart of a person word by word.
in life, the person who answers your message in this way is the most worthy of deep acquaintance.
there is an explanation for everything and an echo for everything
I believe many people have encountered this situation:
when chatting on Wechat, the other person suddenly "disappeared" without warning or text.
it may take a long time before he suddenly replied, "I was busy just now."
maybe he is really busy before he forgets to reply.
but some people are equally busy, but they can always remember to say "I'll go first" in advance.
this gap reflects the performance of whether a person is reliable or not.
some people have summed up that the so-called reliability is nothing more than three points: there is an explanation for everything, there is a reason for everything, and there is an echo for everything.
I think so.
read a story:
A company hired two interns.
the first intern, outstanding, smart, creative and eloquent, is often "missing" on Wechat.
and another intern, just one advantage, reliable.
I will give you an answer as soon as I tell you about his business; if it can be done, I will also give you an answer; when it can be done, I will give you an answer.
so, at the end of the internship, the company left only a second intern.
reliable, is a person's most important talent.
writer Chi Li once said:
"reliable, simple to say, complicated to fall down; sounds like a feeling, but it's a principle to do it."
when the mother-in-law assesses her son-in-law and the boss examines the staff and entrusts acquaintances to do things, they usually have to ask in their heart, is this person reliable?
reliable contains almost all our sense of trust.
A truly reliable person is not necessarily the smartest, but he must be trustworthy, not necessarily the most successful, but certainly worth interacting with.
in this world, there is no shortage of smart people, but really reliable and down-to-earth people.
those who fail in their work will throw others in the pot, and those who put aside their responsibilities do not take responsibility.
people who complain when they are in trouble in life are not worth socializing with.
Li Ka-shing once said: do things to find reliable people, smart people can only chat.
the really reliable people are responsible for everything, responsible for everything, and have a beginning and an end for everything.
A reliable person with principles and moderation at the bottom of his heart is always worthy of deep acquaintance.
speech is measured, playful and measured
some people say that ran Yong is benevolent, but not eloquent.
Confucius replied, "if you give people by mouth, you often hate people."
means sharp-tongued, aggressive and annoying.
just like in life, some people always like to say: I speak bluntly, don't be angry.
and many times, the person who says this sentence is often the easiest to tear open our scars.
if you are angry, he will blame you for "can't afford to joke".
do not realize that only when the parties find it funny, it is called "joking".
the parties are unwilling and insist that they are joking, that is, playing hooligans.
A person's sense of proportion in a joke is often the best way to see his character.
not making fun of other people's flaws and making fun of other people's privacy is the bottom line.
as the old saying goes: if you say nothing, you will have no friends, and if you do your best, you will be far away.
you need to pay attention to the way you talk to people, whether it's face-to-face or Wechat, don't say anything that hurts.
if it is really for the good of each other, you might as well change your tone, be gentle, and know how to take care of others.
otherwise it would be like this story:
A man asked a friend, "We have known each other for so long. Do you think I have any shortcomings that need to be corrected?"
his friend honestly enumerated many of his shortcomings, such as unpunctuality, sarcasm, and sometimes breaking his word, but did not notice that his face gradually darkened.
the end result is that the two broke up in discord.
A good word warms you in three winters, but a bad word hurts you in June.
everyone has their own self-esteem and pride, do not use their own personality to challenge the temper of others.
people who are really smart know how to talk well and enough is enough.
the Doctrine of the mean, which we have advocated since ancient times, is about moderation.
A person who is moderate in dealing with the world is worthy of your deep acquaintance.
because you have a sense of propriety, you will know how to respect others.
not proud at the top, not humble at the bottom
Zhihu hasPeople ask: what is a cultured person like?
the most popular answer is that the word "respect" is rigidly engraved on the face and heart.
regardless of whether he is old or young, noble or humble, close or close, he will respect him and never elevate himself or belittle others.
remember that there is a text in the primary school textbook:
on the street of New York, a businessman saw a ragged pencil salesman. Out of pity, he gave the man a dollar.
the salesman was a little surprised, then looked dark, but did not say a word.
after a while, the businessman turned back, took out some pencils from the pen seller, and explained apologetically that he had forgotten to pick up the pen.
he said, "you and I are both businessmen, and you have something to sell."
the salesman was moved and watched the businessman leave.
A few months later, when we met again, the salesman was fresh and radiant, and he said gratefully to the businessman:
"you regained my self-esteem and told me that I was a businessman."
excellent people, all know how to respect others, will not let people into an embarrassing situation.
and this kind of respect will also plant the seeds of light in people's hearts and coruscate vitality.
it is said in the Book of changes that neither the upper hand nor the lower one is desecrated.
do not flatter those who are better than you, and do not treat those who are weaker than you lightly.
respect is a person's top accomplishment. Know how to respect others, in order to get the respect of others.
as Kant said: I respect any independent soul, although I do not agree with some, but I can understand as much as possible.
the higher the level of people, the more respect for others, respect for small potatoes, can be called big shots.
the highest state of life is tolerance, and the highest state of getting along is respect.
respect is always your own business, and it does not change because of the status of others.
A person who knows how to respect others is worth your deep acquaintance.
because of respect, we know how to think of others, how to think of others, and how to listen to the voices of others.
Don't rush to express, don't hesitate to listen
psychologist Yue Xiaodong once sat at the next table when he was eating out.
one of them should have just been lovelorn, depressed, complaining about his ex-girlfriend.
No sooner had he said a few words than another young man interrupted him:
at least you are a big man, there is nothing to mention, can not let go! What's so great about that woman? I'm afraid she won't find anything better than her.
the comforting young man kept talking, while the one who was lovelorn was silent and just drank hard.
seeing each other talking endlessly, he said a little impatiently, "all right, stop talking, it's none of your business."
the comforting young man was also unhappy: "am I not speaking for you?" The dog really bit Lu Dongbin. "
Socrates said: God gives people two ears and two eyes, but only one mouthful, so that they can hear more and see more and speak less.
people have two ears, two eyes, but only one mouth, so they should listen more, see more and speak less.
talking is everyone's instinct, and knowing how to listen is a commendable skill.
the best accomplishment of a person is to listen.
in life, everyone has something happy or sad, wants to be understood, and needs to express and confide in others.
but you have to find the right person before you can be cured, otherwise you will only make things worse.
No one is so busy that they have no time to wait for others to express themselves. For those who lack patience, what they lack is not time, but literacy.
some people say that a person's ultimate dream in this world is to find the person who is most similar to him.
if there is, that person must be among the people who are willing to listen to you.
because a person who is willing to listen to you will understand your state of mind and understand your feelings.
he will accompany you silently and encourage you with silent words.
True friends, never need to say much, silently relative, but also very beautiful.
knowing how to listen is a timeless charm.
if there is such a person around you, you must cherish it.
on the journey of life, some people come, others go. Meeting each other is fate, but deep acquaintance depends on character.
the friends around you, like another self in the world, can help you distinguish right from wrong and make you better yourself.
as Zhu Guangqian said: friends are often the most accurate measure of themselves.
screening friends is combing your life; making good friends is the beginning of self-improvement.
as the saying goes, "those who are close to red are red, those who are close to ink are black". It really matters who you spend your whole life with.
, for the rest of your life, may you choose good friends, good friends, best friends and good friends.
this book is published under authorization.
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