"Congratulations to those who don't post on moments."
"Congratulations to those who don't post on moments."
People can't live in moments.


National Pavilion

there is a topic on Zhihu: why do more and more people stop posting on moments?

A highly praised answer is: the "moments" you want to send have been sent to people who care about in the form of private messages.

in the final analysis, moments is only a window for us to express our feelings, not the whole of life.

people who don't post on moments also have their own reasons, not without life.

those who quit their moments just find comfort on their own side of life.

people who are really mature tend to be quiet

has a former colleague who has been married for several years.

in the past, she always liked to show her love in her moments, either as a small gift, or a picture of the couple, or watching another movie together.

but I don't know since when, she seems to be less and less fond of posting on moments. Once in a while, she just posts her baby.

later I heard that her husband was in debt when he was out gambling, the family's house was mortgaged, his bank card was frozen, and his life hit rock bottom.

but she never complains or vents in her moments, but becomes more and more silent and hides all her unhappiness into an unknown corner.

the adult world, even if life is difficult, but also to retain a trace of dignity.

just like in the movie "Chinatown investigation", Qin Feng asks Tang Ren:

"Why did you come to Thailand? It's so far from home. "

Tang Ren said:

"who is comfortable in China and willing to come out? There is a reason to stay, there is a reason to come out. The feeling in this world that is worse than everyone's contempt for you is to make everyone sympathize with you. "

hiding your fragility and unbearability is the last decent thing for adults.

if you open the moments, you will find that those who still insist on expressing their feelings in the moments are basically young.

this is not to say that this is wrong, after all, who has not been young?

in the past, whenever I encountered some setbacks or grievances, I always liked to complain and complain in the circle of friends, otherwise I was always unhappy.

later I found out that life has not only the immediate rest, but also the wailing from afar.

there is nothing easy to say in the adult world.

there is no job that is not hard, and no one's life is always calm.

who doesn't grit their teeth and forge ahead at the same time.

it is only children who put their emotions on their faces, and people who are really mature know how to restrain their emotions.

Haruki Murakami once said:

"you are going to be a quiet adult and live another life. Not all fish will live in the same sea."

Life is never an emotional game. In the adult world, reason is more important than emotion.

No matter how sobbing nights you have experienced, the sun rises the next day, and people come and go in the street.

Open your eyes, life will go on, and the years will still be quiet.

people who don't post on moments have already learned to hide their emotions.

hide the unknown fragility and unbearability under the mask of silence.

the world is your own and has nothing to do with others

there is a word in psychology called "always my attribute".

means that people always live alone and have nothing to do with other people.

there is really no empathy in this world.

like Lu Xun's passage:

"A man downstairs was sick to death, and the family next door was singing the phonograph, opposite to playing with the children.

there are two people laughing and playing cards upstairs. There was a woman crying over her dead mother on the boat in the river.

Human joys and sorrows are not the same. I just think they are noisy. "

if you share happiness with the wrong person, you will show off; if you are sad, if you share the wrong person, you will become hypocritical.

as the saying goes: unpleasant things are often nine times out of ten, but they have nothing to do with people.

there are more and more friends on Wechat list, but few people can really talk to each other.

other people may not care about your moments, and they may not care about your happiness or sadness.

over time, I have no intention of posting it on moments.

think of a question in the novel Ferry Man: if fate is a lonely river, who will be the ferry man of your soul?

there is a vast sea of people on this side and the other side of life.

who can be the ferryman of our lives?

the answer is, just you.

read a story:

Su Dongpo asked the Zen master, "the world is chanting the name of Guanyin Bodhisattva, hoping to get her protection, and she also has a rosary on her hand. Whose name does she read?"

the Zen master said, "I also read Guanyin Bodhisattva."

Su Dongpo wondered: "Why does Quan Yin Bodhisattva miss himself?"

the Zen master explained, "because she knows better than the rest of the world, it is better to ask for help than to ask for help, and it is better to rely on others than to rely on yourself."

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just like a line in Farewell my Concubine: people have to fend for themselves.

in the adult world, everyone is a "mud Bodhisattva". Never pin your hopes on others.

many of our feelings can only be understood by others.Digest by yourself; there are many things in life that others can't help, so you can only solve them by yourself.

those who do not post on moments have long known how to block the useless voices of the outside world, live in their own rhythm, and strive to manage their lives well.

your life is not in moments

the "Shanghai socialite", who became popular all over the network some time ago, has undoubtedly become the "envy" of many people.

they wear famous brands, go in and out of various high-end venues, stay in five-star hotels and eat sky-high afternoon tea.

but behind this splendor is the "spelling order" day after day.

High-end afternoon tea, set meal for two for 6 people, 85 per capita.

High-end hotel Ritz-Carlton bubble bath, group purchase for 15 people, 200 per capita.

Bulgari, 40 people moved in to take photos in batches, with an average of 125 per person.

even a pair of second-hand Gucci stockings worth 600 yuan can be bought in groups.

they package themselves as "socialites" and live an extremely high-end and high-end life in the circle of friends.

but does real life become better because of it?

of course not.

in the final analysis, real life is never in moments.

the "pseudo-delicacy" in moments is just a self-deceiving scam.

sociologist Goffman once said: "Society and life are a big stage, and each member, as a performer, is very concerned about his image in front of the audience."

Today's moments is a condensed stage, on which many people are used to performing and dressing up, but forget what life looks like.

some people like to "clock in" in moments, fitness, reading, traveling, cooking. It seems that the years are quiet and good.

but what about the truth?

the person who insists on "clocking in" every day is often just to give himself a reason to post on moments.

cover up your humble life with a seemingly rich circle of friends.

for example, a friend of mine, in her circle of friends, is full of good-looking selfies, scenic photos of traveling around the world, and all kinds of books.

some time ago, she posted Yu Hua's "alive" in her moments and wanted to ask her which feels better, books or movies.

in the circle of friends, she lives a delicate and elegant life, but I know that in reality, she doesn't even bother to clean up her room.

people can't live in moments.

what really matters is not how to create people in the circle of friends, but how to live a vivid life.

as Cai Kangyong said:

"Congratulations to those who don't post on moments, they devote most of their energy to real life, and they find the focus of life."

those who do not post on moments have long found the focus of life and lived the most authentic themselves.

the most important thing in life is yourself

only by returning to real life can we find who we really are.

watched a program in which Qian Feng said she had been deleted as a Wechat friend by Wang Han.

Wang Han replied: "I have deleted both Fan Bingbing and Chen Kun."

he added: "when I had more than a hundred people on Wechat, I already felt terrible."

after deleting some people, his heart is a little more relaxed, will not feel tired, will not feel anxious.

in the final analysis, most of the people who come and go in life are just passers-by.

you don't have to invite too many people into your circle of friends. It's hard for them to be friends with you, but they can easily disrupt your life.

there is a saying on the Internet:

the circle of friends has become a circle of "everyone has it", and it is no longer the simple friends before.

you want to post something, but you are afraid of others pointing behind your back, or leaving unpleasant words on your comments.

Life itself is tired enough, don't waste energy and time on unnecessary people and things.

you know, after all, life is your own, and you don't have to care about what other people think.

for those who don't know themselves, there is no need to explain too much.

being yourself is more important than anything else.

as Bai Yansong said, "I don't even understand how I live. Why do I care how you live?"

not everyone is a friend, and not everyone is willing to understand you.

A person's life is enough to have two or three bosom friends.

and moments, itself is the product of polishing and retouching, why take it too seriously.

those who do not post in moments have seen clearly the ways of the world and lived a light life.

the circle of friends is not a window for people to watch, but a mirror for self-examination.

in the days when they don't post on moments, they are living conscientiously and hard.

you will never know.

the guy who never complained in moments, eating instant noodles and tapping on the keyboard, worked overtime until the wee hours of the morning again.

the girl who was complained by vexatious customers continued to work with a straight face and dared to cry when she got home.

the middle-aged man who works conscientiously and cheerfully every day.After getting drunk, they will weep silently with the railing in their arms.

Life is really not easy, it's all in places you can't see.




this book is published under authorization.