Cross people, hearts, and oneself
Cross people, hearts, and oneself
Remind yourself to make a good trip by yourself.

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Life is like a reverse journey, the suffering after maturity, no one can understand, let alone understand.

there is a piercing saying:

"in the adult world, you have to set an alarm clock when you cry until you are tired and about to fall asleep."

everyone has his own difficulties, everyone has his own business, tears run out, you are the only one who can pass you.

when you are at a low ebb, you desperately say to yourself, "be strong", but your heart does not listen to you, and you realize that no one has ever told you how to cross by yourself.

in fact, it is not difficult to cross by yourself. it is enough to do these three things well.

become free by self-discipline

it is normal to live a hard life, but it is not inevitable to endure it.

one of the authors of Jane Shu failed to start his own business and was urged to collapse by debt, and his wife divorced him.

when his friends abandoned him, he began to drink.

excuse that he couldn't sleep. He had two bottles of wine and three packs of cigarettes a day, and his house was so messy that he couldn't bear to look straight in the eye.

eating irregularly, staying up late every night, he saw himself out of his mind in the mirror and finally decided that he could not fall.

he began to abstain from drinking. For the first time in 10 years, he did not drink for 25 days, and even the amount of smoking was reduced by more than half.

practice push-ups, practice anaerobic equipment, from the original muscle relaxation to obvious muscle lines, mental state is also better;

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as a male chauvinist, he also spends a lot of time with his wife and children and does housework.

slowly, he finally has the courage to start a business again and forge ahead for the career he likes.

he said:

"it is your choice to continue to be depressed or turn around. If you choose the latter, then self-discipline will be the best place to start."

the life of ordinary people will inevitably fall into hardship, and self-discipline is to use a regular life to fight against the inevitable suffering.

when Matsuura Mitaro, editor-in-chief of Life Post, dropped out of school to work, he had no friends and could not speak the language, so he could barely make a living in the collection station.

after a long period of depression, he thought seriously for the first time about what he wanted.

he learns book knowledge while doing a part-time job, trains himself to say hello to people, and forms a habit of every little thing according to his own procedures and steps.

get up at five, go to bed at ten at night, walk ten kilometers every other day, day after day, he regains his love of life and makes his first bucket of gold by selling books.

it is said in the collected works of the Mid-levels:

"the mill of life is so heavy that you think it crushes you, but in fact it teaches you delicacy and helps you present the details of your life so that you don't spend your life too rough."

the more difficult it is, the more necessary it is to exercise self-discipline, grind life carefully, live it seriously, and develop the strength to escape from hardship.

rely on solitude, resilience

if life is destined to be rough and there are many troubles, we can avoid it for a while, at least when we are alone.

A reader left a message in the background, saying that he had quit his job some time ago, could not find a job, and was almost depressed.

her resume was lost, her heart was blocked, she quarreled with her husband easily, and all the pots and pans at home were smashed.

angrily broke the child's video game, the child was in a hurry and asked her to pay for a new one.

the family was not rich in the first place. She was so angry that she locked herself in the house and found that she didn't know what to do without quarreling.

from not knowing what to do, to settling down to do her own thing, taking online classes, reading books and watching movies, she just feels leisurely and comfortable.

when his heart sank down, the taut strings finally relaxed, and the reader finally realized that troubles can be cleared.

facing her family, she smiled a little, and her husband, who quarreled with her two days ago, took the initiative to reconcile with her and made a joke.

time alone is not only the time to adjust and relax, but also the opportunity to stay away from worries and clear away the depression.

my cousin used to work as a salesman, but she was always at the bottom of the list when signing bills, and the boss wanted to fire her.

she went back crying and stayed in the house for a weekend. She didn't go out except to eat and go to the bathroom.

on Monday morning, she was in high spirits and closed two more deals that day, and her departure eased.

later, my cousin mentioned this and said with a smile, "I didn't want to see anyone in those two days, so I listened to music in the house, in a daze, and had a good time."

the more adversity we get, the more we need to be alone and let the tension be relieved.

the more difficult it is, the more necessary it is to be alone so that the soul can rest.

I like Shen Congwen's sentence very much:

"be alone, in a world where you lack everything, you will find that there is yourself."

before you go to war with life, when you are depressed, leave a blank for yourself. You can heal your wounds quietly, and you can be less tense.

rely on the state of mind, steady state

the same suffering, the same suffering, faced with a different state of mind, will be completely different.

psychologists have proved that people's decisions when they are depressed are much worse than those made when they are happy.

when people are at a low ebb and face a blow, they will be depressed and sad, so it is better to adjust their mindset first and then move on to the future.

do more happy little things

Fan Deduo in Yunnan has been depressed since his car accident.Symptoms.

he sometimes twitches and trembles, thinks wishfully at night, and can't sleep.

his wife saw someone teaching ghost step dance in the corner of the square dance and pulled him to dance together. He felt much more comfortable that day.

after dancing for 4 years, his health is getting better and better, and now he smiles every day.

the video of him doing the ghost step with his wife has also spread all over the Internet.

small changes, but the role should not be underestimated.

can't make it any longer, just find some happy little things, even if you listen to more soothing music, practice calligraphy every day, and brush sweet old movies several times.

add some fun to life and soothe the hurt in your heart.

think more about happy things

two years ago, a netizen was hit hard one after another.

Grandpa passed away, my mother-in-law was seriously ill, and there was a lot of pressure at home, so my husband began to drink and didn't come home all night.

Children's high tuition fees and soaring blood pressure are all troubles.

the way she accidentally read a book, she began to write a gratitude diary, thanks for everything she has now.

"my husband drank today, but he got home at ten o'clock";

"there was something wrong with the computer system, but I quickly got in touch and gave myself a score of 90";

"on the way to pick up the baby, the child is very happy, chattering non-stop."...

she no longer complains and even likes running, reading and cooking. Life becomes more and more enjoyable.

when it hurts, don't look at the wound. When it's hard, think about the good.

along the way, the forgotten sufferings will fade until they disappear.

accept the worst

he had lung cancer, and the doctor told him, "you can live three months at the most."

knowing that his life is not long, the old man just wants to use the last time to do what he wants to do.

when he was young, he wanted to travel around the world, but he could not move, so he traveled on the map to understand the dialects of each place and the characteristics of each street.

not only did he not die in three months, but he also lived for 12 more years and had a great-granddaughter.

in worry and anxiety, you can only narrow the road until you get closer to what you fear.

on the contrary, first accept the worst outcome, lower expectations, the road can be wider and wider, out of the cramped desperate situation.

there is a sentence in Ji Xianlin's "self-crossing of sorrows and joys":

"how can there be real empathy in the world? If a person can manage his emotions well and digest the joys and sorrows of the world, even if he will experience ups and downs, he will be able to achieve perfection. "

things change, human feelings change, "suffering" is only normal, but at least "self-crossing" is true.

it is not a fantasy to decompose hardship by self-discipline, to digest worries by being alone, to release emotions by mindset, and to cross oneself.

try your best to grow toward the sun. If you have light in your heart, you can get closer to beauty.

, remind yourself to remember to cross by yourself.



: duhaoshu


, National Reading University with more than 30 million subscribers

number. The original title "people are at a low ebb, self-crossing depends on these three things." Monday

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