Not too enthusiastic, maintain a sense of proportion, is the virtue of the world.
A few days ago, I happened to see a video of Jin Jing participating in a program.
program, Jin Jing said bluntly that she did not want to make friends with artists on her own initiative. She said:
"I like Big S very much. I was very excited and even delusional when I had the opportunity to do a program with her. I should be able to be friends with her.
so I couldn't wait to send her a long message saying, Sister S, I really like you. "
the process of waiting for a reply is long and uneasy, and she is looking forward to a response from her idol, and she is worried that once the other person responds, she does not know how to "chat up".
half a day later, I suddenly received a voice message: "Thank you, Jin Jing. I need refueling tomorrow, too."
Jin Jing's fantasy didn't happen at all.
she does not have a familiar conversation with her idol, let alone become a best friend at first sight, she just maintains a polite and polite working relationship with her.
the host asked her, "Why are you doing this?"
she smiled helplessly:
"I'm stupid, but it's also a growth for me. For the sake of others, maybe overenthusiasm is a problem for others, and then torture myself."
"the reaction of Big S can be said to be very real, and sometimes I really want to say to those who are enthusiastic that it is a human virtue not to be too enthusiastic and to maintain a sense of proportion."
after all, adults have their own rules for socializing.
the article shared today tells us that we should be conscious of enough care, just the right enthusiasm, and making others comfortable.
Sorry, I don't know you very well
my friend complained to me last night that she had just blocked a Wechat friend.
Our elegant white and gold wedding dress will add sophistication and style to your wardrobe. Perfect choices for your big day!
in fact, they have known each other for less than 24 hours, but this time is simply a disaster for her.
A friend met a girl in the night running group. The two chatted and found that they lived in the same neighborhood.
the girl was so enthusiastic that she immediately asked her to have dinner and go shopping with her.
my friends feel that we are not familiar with the point where we can eat and chat together. After a few pleasantries, we intend to end the chat.
but the girls don't seem to have such a plan, and they throw a series of questions one after another:
what is your star sign? What blood type?
where are you from? what's your job?
how much do you earn a month? Do you have a date?
at first, my friend was able to answer politely, but then I couldn't stand it anymore, so I made an excuse to get busy first, and I'll talk to you next time.
after an hour, the girl sent a message to ask her, are you done?
after a few simple answers, the friend said he was going to take a bath.
unexpectedly, the other party was in hot pursuit, saying that we would talk after you took a shower.
early the next morning, she sent another message asking if she was up, and made two voice calls.
my friend's embarrassing cancer is about to be committed, so I can only scratch my finger and choose to block it silently.
in actual interpersonal communication, there are very few people who fall in love with each other when they meet for the first time. After all, there are very few people who are friends with each other.
the relationship between adults is about gradual and orderly progress. Only when the friendship is in place can the relationship be further deepened.
if you just have a face-to-face meeting, the topic will be endless; just add Wechat and ask questions like your parents.
such enthusiasm will not bring us closer to each other, but will deter each other and make them feel disgusted.
as Gibran said:
enthusiasm, once added "excessive", is a flame of self-immolation.
when we are young, we will inevitably think that "enthusiasm" is a sharp weapon to kill everything. We will not understand until we have been deeply involved in the world and after suffering:
for people who are not familiar with each other, you must keep your mouth shut and keep your mouth shut.
enthusiasm ends in politeness, not indifference, not too much; slow down, a little longer, we can have a long time.
I want to keep my distance from you
there is a hot topic on Zhihu: "at what moment do you think you and your friends can no longer be friends?"
shared his story:
six months ago, I decorated my new house and asked my friends to go to the building materials market.
my friend is a very enthusiastic girl who has been giving me advice all the way.
you must listen to me and pretend to be Scandinavian simplicity, so that your taste will go up immediately.
Don't you have a three-bedroom? How cool it is to turn a small room into a cloakroom and have your own cloakroom!
Don't install the TV, who still watches TV now? forget the projector in the room. The effect is great.
I listened to her talking like a machine gun, and I could only use all the available space to say:
"in fact, I prefer the Chinese style, and I don't plan to get a cloakroom. After all, I live with my parents."
friends do not give up, continue to persuade: "you do not understand, do not do this, do not look good, waste such a good Huxing, listen to me is right."
We went to the building materials market three times, once for advice, twice for persuasion, and three times for friends to help me pick out furniture directly.
I think she took care of it a little too much, and finally the two broke up in discord.
some things may be done out of kindness, but everyone has his own ideas and does not want others to impose interference on their own ideas.
there are some words, that's all. Any more is an affront to others.
if the yardstick of enthusiasm is not properly grasped, it is easy to be self-defeating and is regarded as meddling.
however, it is not difficult for us to find such people in our life.
unscrupulously participate in other people's lives just by being enthusiastic;
always cares too much about others, even from their own point of view, and wants them to act according to their own wishes.
with all due respect, this excessive enthusiasm is forcing people to make things difficult, not a comfortable way to communicate.
Bi Shumin once said:
keeping a close distance is the most appropriate way to communicate.
keep in touch with each other and fly separately when there is nothing to do. relatives who are close to each other and friends who are best friends should leave a glimmer of leeway for each other.
A little distance makes it easy to get along with each other.
enthusiasm is moderate, but too much is a disaster
not overly enthusiastic, not only respecting each other, but also cherishing yourself.
as Tai Jai Ji wrote in disqualification in the World:
No matter who is too enthusiastic about, it increases the probability of not being cherished.
du Wenze and Andy Lau became good friends when filming Infernal Affairs.
du Wenze has financial difficulties, and Andy Lau rents his luxury house to him at a low price without saying a word.
when du Wenze got married, Andy Lau gave him face by giving him gifts and being the best man.
du Wenze was short of money to make films, and Andy Lau did not hesitate to invest 10 million Hong Kong dollars to pave the way for him.
the box office of the movie was dismal, but du Wenze wanted to make a sequel. In order to avoid losing money again, Andy Lau turned down du Wenze.
No one thought that du Wenze held a grudge and spread bad words about Liu Dehua everywhere, saying that "the King of Heaven is not a man."
sometimes, you risk your life to a person, but in exchange for a profound lesson:
being too enthusiastic will make your concern less important and no one will cherish it.
Chen Daoming said in an interview:
"I will not be as sweet as honey to others, nor will I let others be as sweet as honey to me. When you tell me all the secrets, it's like from the bottom of your heart.
this distance doesn't produce much beauty, and in the end it just doesn't care.
I think when people really dig their hearts out, they are not far away from separation. "
he is not too warm to others, nor does he reject the enthusiasm of others.
but this cold character did not alienate people from him, but made everyone who came into contact with him feel like a spring breeze.
A good relationship is not as enthusiastic as possible, nor is it as close as possible.
the enthusiasm that a person can give in his life is limited, so instead of spending it on others, it is better to devote more time and energy to yourself, which is more helpful to improve the happiness index.
feelings should have the right temperature, and a little colder is the most comfortable.
be a colder person,
is there a temperature for more important people
read a heartbreaking sentence:
Life is on and off. No matter how enthusiastic you are at the beginning, you will have nothing to say in the future.
in this life, everything is won in moderation and destroyed in excess.
relationships that are too hard tend to become cheaper, while relationships that are too enthusiastic tend to make people feel uncomfortable.
everyone always goes through the vicissitudes of life before they realize the value of indifference.
I wish you would be a colder person.
know what to do, know how to advance and retreat, and don't let your enthusiasm become a burden to others.
stay away from what you should stay away from, reject what you should refuse, and don't waste your enthusiasm on people who are not worth it.
encourage each other.
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