Indifference is not selfishness, alienation is not escape.
my friend Da Zuo is a warm-hearted person who always happily gives his colleagues a ride home.
Last Friday, because of something at home, he was in a hurry to go back, so he could not send his colleague to the door.
as a result, when Da Zuo went to the pantry the next day, he heard the comments of his colleagues.
"if you don't match, you don't match, and you leave people on the road!"
"that's outrageous. I told you I was faking my usual enthusiasm."
"it only takes three minutes to walk to his house at that intersection." Dazuo said with a bitter smile, "I suddenly feel that it's not worth it. I have to be enthusiastic all the time. I'm so tired that I can't tell the truth from the false."
it's good to be warm-hearted, but sometimes you have to learn to be cold.
indifference is not selfishness, alienation is not escape.
proper "indifference" is only the most powerful kind of protection left to yourself.
know how to say no
wandering in society, what I am most afraid of hearing is that sentence: "all acquaintances."
because he is an "acquaintance", he must never refuse; because he is an "acquaintance", he must do his best.
once a distant relative knew that I could write an article, so he came to me to help him write a speech.
how easy is it for you to write an article? Anyway, you usually write it, so just write it casually! "
because of the affection of my parents, it was hard for me to refuse, so I had to write it for him.
when he got it, instead of a word of thanks, he said, "it's not so good, it's about the same as me."
then put forward some requests. This sentence should be more sensational and that paragraph should be more specific.
because of the face of my relatives, I can only say, "I'm not very good at this kind of subject. I'm sorry."
the man was in a hurry and said, "if you don't want to help, just say it, it's not well written, won't it waste my time!"
later, he complained among his relatives: "I don't want to pay attention to this small favor."
later, he went to the speech with the manuscript I wrote, and I heard that the ranking was not bad.
not long after that, he came again to ask me for help. This time, I refused him.
there will always be people who think that if acquaintances open their mouths, neither of them will lose face if they don't help.
but "face" is actually a knife with a reverse cutting edge.
an "acquaintance" bound with human feelings is not a real "acquaintance"; a "friend" who is unable to help is not a real "friend".
people, don't embarrass yourself because of a relationship, and don't torture yourself because of a relationship.
Sanmao once said:
"if you have a good reason, don't be afraid to reject others. Because when a man asks, he has two answers in mind, and it is expected to give him any one of them. "
so, what is there to worry about?
refuse when you should, and be indifferent when you are indifferent. In the face of those demands that force people to make things difficult, say: "No."
the word "no" can stop countless troubles and make your life more free and comfortable.
reject useless social interaction
there is a saying: "showing an extremely intimate attitude and pretending to be close to each other shows that they do not believe that they have been trusted by each other."
when you think about it, this is normal.
first time to meet you, regardless of the relationship, add a Wechat first;
A chance encounter of acquaintances, regardless of distance, give a hug first;
make an appointment with friends. No matter what you like or dislike, you will ok first.
if this is not the case, it is not sociable.
so he frantically expanded his address book and friend list, as if the more numbers he had, the more he could prove his sense of existence.
you don't know that a list is just a list.
how many people look at these "friends" after picking up their cell phones, but can't say a word of hello?
how many people received a "who are you?" after sending the message "how are you?"
and how many people can't find someone to talk to when they are sad, so they can only weep silently by themselves.
be clear that if you know the number, you will not become a friend, nor can you say "hello" and have a heart to heart.
try to raise the corners of your mouth and all you get is a meaningless list. No matter how bright the smile is, all you can see is your own reflection on the black screen.
instead of being lost and sad, it is better to give up useless socializing from the beginning.
enthusiasm is limited, barely maintaining will only make you feel tired, it is better to leave it to one or two bosom friends.
the rest, just be indifferent.
be indifferent, be idle, be quiet and be happy.
do not overestimate emotion
there are two kinds of people in the world who are most likely to get hurt: those who are nostalgic, and those who are too emotional.
there is nothing immutable, especially feelings.
he, who is loved most today, may become a so-and-so in his mouth tomorrow. He, who is now regarded as a treasure, may also be abandoned one day in the future.
there is nothing wrong with loving someone, but it is your own fault to love too much.
Don't lose your pride, don'tAlways compromise and carefully maintain a relationship. Always remember that you should also be cherished, cared for and taken seriously.
the good time of life is not worth such a waste of effort and youth.
some people, only suitable for one trip, since they do not love, then choose to calmly let go. There is no need to entangle, do not need to retain, let alone wait for enough disappointment and grievance before leaving.
you have to get off when you arrive at the station. If there is an empty seat, someone will naturally replace it.
be determined, let go of this mispaid time, let go of habitual dependence, let go of all unhappiness, to embark on a new journey and see new scenery.
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treat your surroundings with a state of mind of favor and disgrace, without owing others, let alone wronging yourself; look at the world with the attitude of light wind and light clouds, follow the fate of intimacy, love and hate at will.
indifference is not indifference
is not to completely separate yourself from others, not to mind your own business, to hang it high, but to be a faint gentleman.
Xiao S complains about his old partner Cai Kangyong, saying that he seems to be covered by a transparent film and keeps his distance from everyone.
but such an indifferent person is always said to be gentle.
because Tsai Kang-yung, who never attends other people's weddings or parties, always shows up when his friends need comfort.
Cai Kangyong's comfort is also with his unique indifference, keeping a distance but trustworthy.
the colder the person is, the more attractive he is; the colder the person is, the more his enthusiasm will be cherished.
as the saying goes, "look at people with cold eyes, listen coldly, feel cold, and think coldly."
people who are "cold" will be more comfortable with each other because they know how to maintain a distance, and because they know how to remain independent, they will not be bound by the world.
for the rest of my life, I would like to have a "cold" heart, look down on nothing in the world, and release a unique and subtle tenderness in the complicated world.