Never leave your self-esteem for love.
in a twinkling of an eye, it is another Spring Festival.
however, several families are happy and several are sad.
especially for girls who are married far away, the Spring Festival is more like a robbery in their hearts.
marry far away, marry lonely
I know a cousin who married from Jiangsu to Sichuan.
the intention is good, of course: for love.
however, love is the most illusory thing and can not make up for the pain of marrying far away.
because there is a distance of 3000 kilometers between her mother's home and her mother-in-law's house, she has to take an eight-hour train, and she has to transfer several times in the middle, coupled with the fact that the child is young and the situation is special in the past two years. For safety reasons, she hasn't been home for five years.
seeing the Spring Festival approaching, her mother-in-law are talking and laughing together, but what about her?
I can neither understand the local dialect nor adapt to the polite atmosphere, so I can only sit by and can't fit in at all.
in this family, she doesn't find a sense of belonging and often feels like an outsider.
A few days ago, she cooked for the whole family and worked hard to cook a large table of dishes. As soon as she tasted a chopstick, her mother-in-law was extremely disgusted. The lines were full of yin and yang, and she was picky and said she was reluctant to put salt and chili peppers.
well, now everyone is happy, but she has gastroenteritis and her stomach is turned upside down.
and the husband, who claimed to love her, could not understand her pain at all, but said impatiently:
"if you can't eat spicy food, don't eat it. Just pour a bowl of hot water and rinse next time."
when my cousin heard this, her heart was half cold, but she had no place to talk, so she had to hide in the bathroom and cry secretly.
when my aunt and uncle made a video call, she had to pretend that she was happy, but God knows, she looked forward to it thousands of times in her heart, just wanted to go home and have a good reunion with her parents.
many young girls don't understand. In their opinion, they can give up everything for the sake of love.
but ask yourself: can you really let it go?
away from his native hometown, he abandoned his parents who loved him deeply, said goodbye to his close friends, and left his hometown for a man to come to a completely strange place.
Yes, you can believe that he will always love you, but no matter how much he loves you, he can't stand by you forever.
at that time, grievances, no one can tell; sad, no one can hug; not resentful, no one can act coquettish.
you stand there alone with no one behind you.
what's even more sad is that you may not see the end of the journey at all.
get married far away and owe your parents
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if you marry far away, you owe not only yourself, but also your parents.
do the math this way:
if your parents are 60 years old this year and have a life expectancy of 20 years, you can go home to see them once a year and stay with them for 3 days at a time.
well, you can actually get along with each other for only 60 days.What's more, sometimes it is an extravagant hope to see each other once a year after marrying far away from home.
well, you can actually get along with each other for only 60 days.
all that remains between you and your parents is a fragile phone line.
the farther you fly, the easier it is to break the line.
while watching "Mother-in-law and Mom", the program of Madina and her daughter once made my uncle feel deeply.
Madina was born in Xinjiang and came to Beijing for her career, so she got to know Jiang Chao.
the mother ran to Beijing several times, for nothing but to bring her daughter back. She is old and lives alone again, hoping that her youngest daughter can stay with her.
but it's a pity that my daughter met the boy she loved. As a mother, even if she is reluctant to give up, it is impossible to stop it.
after Madina married far away from Beijing, there were only thousands of mountains and rivers left between them.
taking advantage of the opportunity of the program, Madina took her mother, whom she had not seen for a long time, to the hospital for examination, but was told that her mother was no longer in good health and needed to be taken care of by her side.
Madina felt so guilty that her mother confessed to her:
"you are all working outside and can't come back in time. Sometimes when you are alone, you will shed tears for no reason."
"you have done a very good job this time. I am very happy to bring me to the hospital. I hope your child can do the same."
as they spoke, they all wept.
even across a cold screen, you can feel full of sadness.
after her daughter married far away, the parents who stayed at home were left alone and lonely.
when other families are reunited during the Spring Festival, they can only sit in the empty room and wipe away their tears silently. But the first thing they worry about is that you don't have enough to eat and wear, and no one cares for you when you get sick.
there is a good saying:
"when people are around, they always think that they have a chance, but in fact, life is subtraction. If you see one side, you will lose one side."
after you get married, you will understand that the so-called going home often is just a self-deceiving scam.
there are only a handful of times you can go home to see your parents because there are too many ties in your life.
and in the days when I can't see you, my father's back is no longer straight, my mother's hair is no longer black, and their health is getting worse every day.
maybe, on some ordinary day, you will not be seen in spring and autumn.Yes.
by that time, no matter how much you regret it, it will be too late.
is it really worth marrying a girl far away?
there is a hot topic with 2 million readings on Zhihu: "what happened to those girls who married far away?"
the following answers are shocking.
some people say that when he quarreled with her husband after a long marriage, he slapped the table on impulse, and the husband suddenly said, "this is my house. Get out if you don't like it."
some people say that when they learned outside that their mother was ill, they went to the hospital for an operation all afternoon, and they cried all afternoon, but finally they could only ask her through the screen if it hurt.
others said that Grandma was so ill that she was busy rushing back, but she received unfortunate news on the way. She didn't even see each other for the last time. At that time, she felt that the way home had been so long.
if you marry far away, nine out of ten will be hurt.
before you got married, you were the precious daughter held in the palm of your parents' hands. after you got married, you became the wife of others and the mother of their children.
you no longer belong to yourself, nor to any family.
in your mother-in-law's house, you are an outsider who lives in the same room every day; in your mother's house, you are a guest you don't see once a year.
so, for girls who want to marry far away, please think clearly whether they can afford such a high price.
after all, decisions you make on the spur of the moment are likely to have consequences for you and your parents for the rest of your life.
of course, if you really choose to risk your life for love, please be sure to keep a return ticket for yourself who is far away from marriage.
always remain financially independent, independent, clinging to, and relying on. Tell your husband that you can live well without him.
always think about your parents, agree on the frequency of going home before marriage, and make more phone calls when you are free. Although you can't be with them all the time, you can help them spend their twilight years safely in your own way.
finally, never leave your self-esteem for love.
because only if you respect yourself, others will respect you.