Emotionally stable parents are the protective cover for their children to face the world alone.
recently, the "secret corner" has become popular.
especially the character setting of Zhu Chaoyang in the play makes countless people fall into contemplation.
what kind of person a child approaches, what kind of life path he will take.
reliable will infect him how much he loves life, while those without principles will only drag him down.
therefore, the three people closest to the child determine the direction of the child's life, and the sooner you know, the better!
the attitude of the father affects the character background of the child
the writer Montaigne once said:
"the greatest pleasure of being a father is to inspire and educate his children according to the path he has traveled in his lifetime."
some people say that companionship is the mother's duty, and if the father is just an assistant, he should earn more money and venture more.
but few people understand that in a happy family, it is father and mother who cooperate with each other and make up for each other, rather than being a shopkeeper and worrying alone.
in the Secret Corner, after Zhu Chaoyang's father divorced, he soon reorganized his family and had a new wife and daughter.
even the news that his son had won the first place in the school was talked about by his friends at the poker table.
took him to the mall to buy shoes. When he saw his daughter coming, he soon left his son behind.
Zhu Chaoyang can only keep his head down and look at all this in silence.
in fact, he is eager to communicate with his father, but his father seems to give all his love to that sister.
so when I heard my sister shouting "he hates you!" "he only likes me, not you at all!" At that time, the last straw of Zhu Chaoyang's psychological line of defense collapsed.
after his sister's death, Zhu Chaoyang felt as if he saw a glimmer of fatherly love, but his father's suspicion became a last resort, pushing Zhu Chaoyang completely into the abyss of evil.
compared with the absence of Zhu Chaoyang's father, the way Police Officer Ye and his daughter get along in the play is the envy of many netizens.
my daughter concentrated on doing problems at home but was urged by her father to go out to play and watch "returning pearls" with her.
in fact, the fact that parents don't love and choose divorce is not terrible in itself. what really brings great trauma to children is the lack of love.
some people say that a person's original family is that person's destiny.
this is true at all.
the attitude that a child feels at home from an early age, either warm or indifferent, will deeply affect his attitude towards life in the future.
when children are accompanied by their father, they tend to be braver, more confident, not cowardly, not self-abased, like a little sun, they can be bright.
it is said that fatherly love is deep and seems to be motionless, but in fact it is like a shadow. His existence is not only a benchmark for children, but also a guide.
sometimes a simple hug and a knee-jerk pat on the shoulder are worth a thousand words.
every man can be a father, but not every man has the ability to be a good father.
so, if you can't give your child a complete home, at least give him complete love.
the real concern for children is not to give the most money, but to have enough company.
the mother's mood affects the child's human temperature
at the beginning of a person's life, his mother is the first to interact with him.
if the mother is calm and mild-tempered, the more gentle and calm the child will be, the more courteous she will be and the more moderate she will be.
on the contrary, if the mother is moody and grumpy, the child will worry and fear, either extremely cowardly or extremely grumpy.
in the Hidden Corner, Zhu Chaoyang lives with his mother Zhou Chunhong after his parents' divorce.
although she is not well-off, Zhou Chunhong tries her best to meet all the requirements of her son's study and life.
in order to make him free from psychological burden, he even gave up a new relationship.
she can tolerate being called a "widowed mother", but she will never allow others to call her son an "orphan".
it can be said that she gave all and sacrificed everything for her son.
but this love is too full and suffocating.
especially the plot of letting her son drink milk, the screen is full of her strong desire to control her son.
Zhou Chunhong put all her painstaking efforts on her son Zhu Chaoyang, but she never thought how depressed her son was under the eaves of this love.
Zhu Chaoyang knows that it is not easy for his mother to be alone, so he can only repay Zhou Chunhong's love through an excellent report card, but he does not know when he has become withdrawn, quiet, and bullied.
the strong desire for control is not the epitome of many parents nowadays.
they all want to make up for the unhappiness under the heavy pressure of life, the grievances they have suffered, and the love they have lost in their children. as a result, they become the Jack that oppresses the child, but they do not know it.
the true strength of a mother is her peace of mind, stable disposition, sincerity, kindness and simplicity.
instead of blindly instilling selfishness and treating children as private goods.
once saw a passage that Hu Shi wrote about his mother:
"if I can learn a little bit of good temper, if I can learn a little bit of kindness in dealing with others, if I can forgive and be considerate-- I have to thank my loving mother."
if the father determines the height of the family, then the mother determines the temperature of a home and imperceptibly influences the child's attitude towards the world.
once a mother's bad mood takes root in her child's heart, no matter how good it is in adulthood, it is like a ticking time bomb that can explode at any time.
parents who are emotionally stable bring their children a gentle and determined aura, which is the protective shield for them to face the world alone.
the three values of friends influence children's behavior
as the old saying goes: "Pengsheng hemp, do not help themselves straight, white sand in nirvana, with it black."
the grass grows in the hemp field and can stand without support; when the white sand is mixed into the black soil, it can no longer turn white.
in fact, the same is true of making friends.
you will be who you are when you are with someone; you will have what kind of life you will have if you enter any circle.
in the Secret Corner, Zhu Chaoyang's life is always dark because of his father's neglect and his mother's heavy love.
it was not until the summer vacation that he met Yan Liang and Pu Pu, and his world began to have a little more color.
but it is precisely because of the arrival of these two friends that he completely broke his originally quiet life.
deceive my mother into leaving two friends to live at home;
use video to extort money with friends;
lying sister did not know when she fell from a building;
at first, Zhu Chaoyang did not intend to participate in the incident of these two friends, but for the sake of the so-called friendship, he chose this dangerous road and walked step by step to the abyss.
because for children, being loyal and caring is the first step for them to become adults.
but the non-concept is not yet clear, it is easy to go astray, so one step at a time.
so, what kind of friends you make, you will gain what kind of life.
there is a word in psychology: catfish effect.
it is said that sardines like to be clustered and lazy. Fishermen have thought of many ways, but most of them will suffocate to death midway.
later, someone put several active catfish in the sardine trough so that most of the sardines could return to the fishing port alive.
in fact, the same is true of people, everyone has bad habits more or less, but some people can become better, often because he has met good people.
A friend who is honest and kind-hearted, works with principles, has a bottom line, will not cheat, will not be unconscionable, and his life will be more beautiful if he contacts with such a person.
Adler has a wise saying:
"Lucky people are cured by childhood all their lives, and unfortunate people heal childhood all their lives."
many parents want their children to be excellent people, but they forget to press the button on their side and do not live into a beam of light, so how can they have the opportunity to light their children's way?
the true affection is to give him enough love and sense of security to grow up with him, rather than leaving the task of growing up to the child and watching.
A true friend, who knows how to distinguish between right and wrong, good and evil, trusts and supports each other, can give you a hand at a critical time.
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all our lives, we just hope that our children will have a happy life in the future, and parents and friends are indispensable runners on the way to their growth.
only when we perfect our respective roles, can children get the best company and support and become the best of themselves!