A good marriage will know how to avoid suspicion and bring a sense of boundaries.
recently, "Mother-in-law and Mom 2" was a hit, and Huang Shengyi once again gained a wave of favor after "the Sister who braved the Wind and waves".
because she was worried that it was not safe for her mother-in-law in her 80s to take a bath herself, she helped take off her clothes and scrubbed herself without the slightest impatience.
at the moment of going out after taking a bath, Huang Shengyi still carefully supported her mother-in-law.
after rubbing and bathing, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law also warmed up a lot.
and Huang Shengyi's husband Yang Zi, who witnessed all this, is also very grateful to his wife for her contribution.
in fact, in a marriage, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is an eternal topic.
when you meet a mother-in-law with high EQ, everyone is happy. If there is a mother-in-law who is "troublesome" at home, there will inevitably be disputes.
A husband who understands the sense of boundaries is not only the seasoning of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also the warm little sun in the relationship between husband and wife.
Don't be "mama's boy", keep a sense of boundaries
in mother-in-law and mother-in-law 2, another group of celebrity couples also sparked a heated discussion, that is, Zhang duo and Chen Songling.
many netizens joked: what is the experience of having a "drama master's mother-in-law"? Just look at the situation of Chen Songling.
program, Zhang's mother called Zhang duo. As soon as she opened her mouth, "duo duo" and "duo duo" shouted briefly. Chen Songling grabbed the phone and shouted "mom," but she chose to be "deaf."
when he heard that his mother was coming, Zhang duo said to his mother on the phone, "Welcome to our house."
as a result, she retorted:
No, son, you're not right. You shouldn't say welcome to our house. You should say, Mom, welcome home. "
when my mother-in-law really came to the house, she immediately staged "koala hug" Zhang duo, but ignored Chen Songling at all, and the atmosphere was very awkward for a time.
fortunately, in the face of mother Zhang's series of operations, Zhang duo's approach can be regarded as a textbook-level demonstration.
he said to his mother:
"Welcome to our house. You can be free to do whatever you want, but obey the rules of our family. Ask me and Songsong."
his answer not only respects his mother, but also protects his wife, and at the same time defines the rules to prevent his mother-in-law from intervening excessively in the life of husband and wife "in the name of love" and affecting their feelings.
this sister-brother marriage, which is not favored by the public, can go through 15 years happily, presumably without the attentiveness of her husband Zhang duo.
as John Gottman, an intimacy scholar, said:
"every husband must understand that when you get married, you and your mother are actually two families. In your family and your wife's family, you are first a husband, and your wife is the mistress of the family."
Smart husbands often know how to grasp the boundary between "everyone" and "small family", give their wives enough sense of security to protect their marriage and family.
Marriage without boundaries is the kidnapping of love
not long ago, I received a fan message:
Uncle, I'm divorced.
this marriage is like a besieged city. I'm out of breath. My husband is extremely distrustful of me and has to report his whereabouts in matters big and small.
every time my friends get together for dinner, before they are halfway through the meal, he calls and urges me to hurry home.
once, my colleague and I were singing in KTV. Because the voice was noisy, I didn't get a call from him.
when I saw the phone, it showed 12 missed calls. I felt bad in my heart and was about to call him back.
unexpectedly, he found KTV and scolded me in front of all his colleagues indiscriminately.
he accused me of not always drinking and singing, saying that if I had that spare time, I might as well read more books at home.
I've really had enough of this endless noise and suspicion. "
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in fact, the ideal marriage relationship is not your intimacy, but the willingness not to kidnap Ta in the name of love.
husband and wife also need to have an appropriate sense of boundaries and give each other the right tolerance and freedom.
in the variety show of "Happiness Trio", the mode of getting along with Deng Jie and Zhang Guoli is very desirable.
Deng Jie likes drinking coffee, listening to music, growing flowers and plants, and Zhang Guoli likes drinking tea, listening to opera and practicing calligraphy. Their preferences are poles apart, but they still get along very harmoniously.
as the French writer Morois said:
"in a happy marriage, everyone should respect each other's interests and hobbies. It is the most absurd idea to think that two people can have the same thought, the same judgment and the same desire. "
A good marital relationship has its own sense of boundaries
once read a survey on marital relationships on Weibo:
"what makes you stick to the bottom line of marriage for so many years? is it because there are few temptations?"
the results show that the vast majority of people are not faced with fewer temptations, but because they always have a warning line for the relationship between men and women, alerting themselves all the time.
the famous beloved wife in the entertainment industry.Jiang once participated in a popular variety show.
in the program, the female guests who played games together proposed that "whoever loses should kiss each other on the forehead."
after hearing this, du Jiang immediately refused: "you don't have to play so big."
under everyone's booing, du Jiang, who lost the game, looked at a loss.
the guests shouted: "it doesn't matter, it's really just a game. Mr. Huo won't blame you."
but for du Jiang, this is not just a game. He understands that he is a married man, and to get along with the opposite sex, to maintain the most basic sense of boundaries is the least respect for the other half.
Zhou Guoping said in Man and Eternity:
"all communication has an insurmountable final boundary, which is not clear, but it is definite. All troubles and conflicts arise from an inadvertent attempt to break through this line. "
I think so.
A good marriage must know how to avoid suspicion and bring its own sense of boundary, because this is the cornerstone of whether a marriage can be long-term.
it is not easy to be accompanied by a person who knows and loves each other in this life. If you encounter it, you should cherish it.
, may we all keep our own boundaries and respect the boundaries of others, and then find the beloved who will stand with you at dusk and ask you if your porridge is warm, and spend the rest of our lives hand in hand.