Being yourself is the beginning of everything for the better.
listen to the main
sow the forest and read quietly
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there was a hot topic on Weibo: the most annoying way to communicate.
there are a variety of answers, but the point most frequently mentioned is that it is easy to be reasonable.
in life, those who always like to reason with others and teach others how to behave are generally not very popular.
people with low EQ like to be reasonable
in his early years, his elders went into business in the sea and made a lot of money, and then they invested in several good projects, and they lived a good life.
maybe that's why he boasts that he has a lot of life experience, so he especially likes to "make plans" for other people's lives.
my cousin is still single in her thirties, and every time her elders meet, they will take pains to persuade her to find someone to marry quickly, otherwise she will regret it for the rest of her life.
"you see, other people get married and have children, but you are alone, and when you are old, there is no one to take care of you. How pitiful it is."
"listen to me, don't put so much energy into your work. In the final analysis, women should be family-oriented and not so enterprising."
I have heard these words more than five times on occasions alone, and every time I see my cousin speechless, I feel embarrassed for her.
my cousin is a lawyer, and her thirties are the golden rising period of her career, so she works very hard, so naturally she doesn't have much time and energy to fall in love.
it's not that she refuses marriage, but she just has a clearer plan for her life. She starts her career first, and then finds the right person.
in fact, she also tried to tell her elders what she thought, but the elders always blocked her words by saying, "you are too young to understand."
over time, she didn't bother to argue with her elders. She just nodded yes every time and got it over with.
Mencius once warned us: "the trouble of man is to be a teacher."
the elders' concern for their cousins should be out of good intentions, but if they interfere excessively in other people's lives and always like to use their own "truth" to measure other people's lives, it seems that they do not know what to do.
this is true of the elders to the younger generation. Between colleagues and friends, it is even more taboo to want to teach others how to be a man.
as the writer Wang Zuoluo said:
in most cases, you and your loved ones, classmates, friends, and colleagues all have similar knowledge and experience backgrounds, and this kind of thing has certain circle attributes, that is to say, everyone understands the common sense truth and logic in this circle. You don't have to talk about it.
Don't point fingers at other people's lives, and don't always point to others. This will only make you look like you have a low EQ and don't understand human feelings.
people with high EQ always talk about feelings
people with low EQ like to be reasonable, while people with high EQ know how to talk about feelings.
there are many thought-provoking stories in Gao Ming's book Genius on the left and Crazy on the right.
among them, there is a patient who used to be a good teacher, and then suddenly went insane.
every day, except for eating, sleeping and going to the toilet, she would squat in front of stones or flowers and study carefully, sometimes even lying there whispering.
her husband and children are crazy with anxiety, and she is indifferent.
after many failed attempts to talk to her, the psychiatrist did one thing: do the same thing as her.
for more than ten days in a row, the psychiatrist went to pretend to study the flowers and plants, stones and trees in an attempt to get her attention.
half a month later, this method worked, and she noticed the psychiatrist and began to take the initiative to talk to the doctor.
We may not be able to understand the world of mental patients, but to understand a person in a personal way is indeed the best way to open a person's heart.
people with high EQ are more empathetic than lecturing others with their heads. They know how to try their best to understand other people's feelings first, and then take good advice in a way that makes them comfortable.
as written in the Power of empathy:
in the process of communicating with others, only reason, not feelings, will only make the other person feel bored.
be unreasonable and talk about your feelings in order to let the other party off guard.
from a psychological point of view, the correct communication should be like this: not to judge, but to consider each other's emotions.
people with high EQ know how to put their feelings ahead of reason.
the only thing in the world that can change is yourself
A child was eating ice cream when an adult suddenly said to him, "Children, don't eat ice cream. Eating too much ice cream is bad for your health."
the adult jokingly replied, "Why?" Eat ice cream? "
the child said, "because she never meddles in her business."
although it is a joke, it is quite thought-provoking.
just like the writer Zhang Jiawei once said:
"to help others is to think of others; to interfere with others is to think of yourself."
most of the time, we like to reason with others, not for others, but for ourselves.
the kind of achievement that you don't understand but I understand, and I come to guide you, can be addictive.
but we must understand that it is really not our turn to worry about other people's affairs.
in this season's Weird Shuo, the Princess of Xiehouyu, ran Gaoming, offers another golden sentence for those who love to reason with others. It is especially appropriate to ask the canal where it is so clear, and the canal says, "take care of yourself first."
there is also a line in "Chinese partner" that says:
"the biggest liar is actually ourselves, because we always want to change others and refuse to change ourselves."
read a story.
there was a master who lived in the mountains for a long time and practiced the "Mountain-moving Dafa" for decades, and finally achieved positive results.
some people ask the master for advice on how to practice such magical skills.
the master smiled and said, "it's very easy to practice this magic skill. All you have to do is master it a little bit, that is, if the mountain doesn't come over, I'll go there."
the only thing we can change in this world is ourselves.
when you want to reason with others, take a look at yourself first.
Don't always think about how to change others, think about how to improve yourself.
from now on, a little less arrogance, more modesty, and be yourself is the beginning of everything for the better.
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