People's joys and sorrows are not the same.
Lu Xun said: "people's joys and sorrows are not the same."
whether it is crying, laughter, noise; whether it is meeting, parting, meeting again.
to others, it is just a noisy or messy picture.
because you are not me, I am not you, so you can't understand me, and I can't understand you.
I think so.
in Strange Shuo, a debater who is famous for his fierce language has been attacked by netizens everywhere.
she tried to change herself according to the "proposal" of netizens, but with little success.
in the last debate match, she lost and faced elimination. Before she left the game, she could not help but speak her heart:
"I am sharp, you say I am bitter; I am gentle, you say I lose my edge; I tell jokes, you say I am variety; I tell the truth, you say you have lost yourself."
she said sadly, "I can finally fall apart."
mentor Gao Xiaosong comforted: "I understand you, but that is nothing. We were scolded much worse than you."
some scars, scratched on the hand, healed and became a thing of the past. Some scars, scratched in the heart, even if very light, will remain in the heart.
there is no comparison of pain, and there is no 100% empathy in this world.
Don't judge other people's grief easily, because you don't know the truth.
Don't blame others for their mistakes at will, because you don't know the past.
some so-called opinions and suggestions are like clods and gravel on a vast expanse of land.
for us, it is concrete, which can support ten thousand tall buildings;
to others, it is a quagmire.
knowing people without judging others is the greatest kindness
A video titled "A man who was once a top student in science was admitted to Tsinghua University and became a security guard after graduation" triggered a heated discussion on the Internet.
many netizens even stood on the commanding heights of morality, blaming them:
"such people are such a waste of educational resources!"
"how much energy do your parents spend on training you? are you worthy of your parents?"
"too much for biology, it's a disgrace."
did not realize that the reason why the man chose to go home to work as a security guard was because his father suddenly became seriously ill.
in order to take better care of his parents, he chose to quit his job in a foreign company and go back to his hometown to get a job.
if you don't stick a needle on your body, you'll never know how painful it will be. If things don't fall on your head, you can always talk crazy.
however, we should be clear:
you can't be a good man by saying "for your own good", nor can you really become an omniscient "prophet" by saying "I know everything".
just as there is a Hamlet in everyone's heart, what we know and see is not exactly the same.
in the face of these different views, we can disagree, but at least we should respect them.
instead of saying something that will only move you, shut your mouth and release a trace of kindness.
everyone has their own helplessness and difficulties. Try to understand other people's experiences and situations. If you broaden your horizons a little bit, you will have a different landscape.
you know, knowing people without judging others is the greatest kindness.
Life is an echo. Those who give love love to return, and those who are blessed come back. The understanding, understanding and respect you give now will surely lead to happiness, happiness and ease in the future.
the greatest upbringing is not to open your mouth at will
have seen such a public service advertisement.
Busy searching a piece of 2 piece prom dresses to show your femininity? Whatever your choice, take advantage of a huge discount of 70 percents!
in an ordinary vegetable market, the rent collector quarreled with the vendor.
the young man who happened to see this scene recorded the picture and posted it on the Internet, accompanied by what he thought was a passage.
netizens began to complain about the vendors and abuse the rent collectors. In the face of "go to hell", the rent collectors only said, "business as usual."
later, someone specially found this vegetable market and filmed all kinds of "indifferent" videos of the landlady.
but in fact, where the camera does not capture, it is a different scene:
"robbing vendors", in fact, the landlady is refunding the overpaid rent;
"quarrel with vendors" is to warn vendors not to tamper with the scales;
"driving the peddlers out" turned out to be kind enough to take the sick vendors to massage.
"grabbing food" is just trying to buy leftovers that vendors can't sell.
No one knows and no one wants to know.
when they choose to believe what they see at first glance, they have shut out the truth.
maybe it doesn't matter to them at all, because in their minds, everything that is different from it is wrong.
but the opposite of white is not necessarily black, and the positive and negative is not necessarily evil. Everything in the world has many sides.
what we see is not necessarily true, not to mention that life is born different, what we seeThere are differences in what you hear, what you know and what you think.
so please open your mouth not only on the basis of one side of the story, because the judgment that does not know the truth will only reveal our ignorance.
instead of empathy, it is better to be accompanied in silence
it is said that the longest confession is companionship, while the best comfort is silent companionship.
Andy in Ode to Joy, a woman who is tough on the outside and weak on the inside, has met two men.
Lao Wei is a mature and stable man. after knowing Andy's psychological problems, he became a "psychological counselor".
whenever Andy is in bad shape, he "comforts" Andy that the disease can be cured "," I understand "," I understand ".
over time, Andy feels more and more that he is really sick and becomes vulnerable.
in the end, Andy could no longer bear the great pressure and left Lao Wei.
this man, with the face of "bosom uncle", stands in the position of "God".
because I know your past, I can talk about you brazenly; because I know you, I will open your scars as if nothing had happened.
and the appearance of Xiao Bao is an accident.
Andy's "illness" is nothing in the eyes of Bao. When Andy is on a business trip, Bao always arranges all the "encounters". When Andy is sad, he takes her to see the scenery.
he never tries to "understand" Andy's past, but accompanies Andy in his own way.
the most comfortable way to get along with each other is not empathy, but "I am with you", and the most beautiful words are not "I understand you", but "I am here".
as the saying goes, even if we can't empathize after all, it's enough not to be alone in times of pain.
there may be no real empathy in this world, but our kindness can always make the world brighter and warmer.