You don't have to say enough to know people, and leave a bit of decency for others.
have you ever met such a person?
when you know that someone else is divorced, you have to ask, who made the mistake first?
when you see someone wearing a fake brand, you always deliberately ask, where did you buy it?
knowing that others have something difficult to say, they still have to discuss it in public.
he thinks he is smart, but in fact he is just lack of self-cultivation.
there is a saying
is good: "knowing that not asking is self-cultivation, seeing through without saying is wisdom."
it is a person's greatest kindness to keep silent when others are embarrassed.
knowing not to ask is a kind of kindness
netizens of Zhihu
shared one of my experiences.
when she first came out to work, she shared a house with her friends, and they got along well with each other. They cooped up on the couch and watched movies together after work, and bought food and cooked together on weekends.
later, full of long-distance boyfriend came to her city, in order to live with her boyfriend, hesitated again and again, or decided to move out.
but unexpectedly, in less than a month, she found ambiguous information about each other and other girls on her mobile phone.
after a quarrel, he broke up angrily, packed his bags and left.
when she dragged her luggage awkwardly to find a friend, guilt and sadness welled up in her heart for a moment, and tears kept falling before she could speak.
my friend picked up her luggage, and before she could speak, she took the initiative to ask, "it's so boring for me to live alone recently. Did you come back to accompany me?"
after many years, she said with emotion that she was very grateful for her friend's acceptance of her at that time, but what made her feel even more warm was that her friend didn't ask her why she came back with her luggage.
in real life, everyone has some hard times to talk about.
to get to the bottom of everything is tantamount to making things worse for others.
people who are really smart tend to be quiet.
knowing not to ask is not only to avoid embarrassment, but also a kind of kindness to push yourself and others.
No one is easier than anyone in the adult world.
everyone has their own wounds, so why rush to open other people's scars?
instead of asking questions, it is better to keep quiet.
have heard a saying:
"in the way of treating others without asking, there is a person's kindness of wisdom and foresight."
do not ask, because it is not easy to understand you, warm-hearted to maintain your self-esteem.
to give others a space, but also to leave a little respect.
it is a kind of wisdom to see through and say nothing.
have read such a sentence:
"can say it is ability, not wisdom, but the right silence is more reassuring."
the real way to deal with the world is to see through it without saying anything.
writer Gan Bei once shared such a story.
in high school, the father of a female classmate worked as a security guard in a bank.
out of adolescent sensitivity and inferiority complex, every time this female classmate is asked about her father's occupation, she always lies: "Dad is a clerk at the bank counter."
as a matter of fact, everyone knows it, but no one has ever exposed it.
once, when several classmates went to eat Spicy Hot Pot, her father came head-on, wearing a security suit.
the female classmate was instantly ashamed and stood in place with a face full of embarrassment.
without waiting for her to respond, he pulled her in the other direction.
Ganbei wrote in the article:
"in this way, we have a tacit understanding to protect the girl's fragile self-esteem for three years."
when we get together again many years later, the girl has already come out of her adolescent inferiority complex and talked openly about her father's career, thanking everyone for not exposing her at that time.
there are lies just to keep your fragile self-esteem.
it is an instinct to see through and want to expose, but to be able to know without saying is a person's real self-cultivation.
born a human being, never rush to tell other people what to do in their lives.
maybe one of your choices protects a sensitive and fragile heart.
A really wise person will never take it short to his face and make it impossible for people to step down.
because they know that not everything can be discussed.
think more from the point of view of others, and if you are more considerate, you will be less reckless.
the best accomplishment is not to embarrass others
in the past, I always thought that I really cared about a person and needed to express it in words.
it was not until later that it was discovered that a knowing smile without asking is better than an inappropriate question.
Runwu's silent rescue is better than asking for warmth with enthusiasm.
@ Nan GE
told such a story.
Dad often mentioned his experience of eating in a restaurant.
that day, an old man was sitting next to him.
after eating, the old man is going to take the bill to pay.
but I suddenly found that I couldn't find the money. I felt all over my body, but I couldn't find my pockets one by one, and I began to get anxious and uneasy..
the restaurant owner came over and said, "Uncle, what's wrong?"
the old man said at a loss, "the 50 yuan in my pocket." I lost it. "
after hearing this, the boss pretended to be surprised and said, "A guest just found 50 yuan stored on my side. Did you drop it? here you are."
then he took out a 50-yuan bill from his wallet and gave it to the old man.
but in fact, the 50 yuan bill is the boss's own money.
every time Dad brings it up, he always praises his boss for doing a good job.
but I said disdainfully: "not for 50 yuan, if I were the boss, I would directly waive the cost of this meal."
Dad shook his head and said:
"what matters is not the 50 yuan and the cost of the meal, but that the boss knows how to leave others with dignity and take care of their feelings."
some time ago, netizens were deeply moved by the warm-hearted move of a steamed stuffed bun shop owner in Zhengzhou, Henan Province.
in order to let the workers who come to dinner can eat one more steamed stuffed bun, the boss deliberately broke the steamed buns.
when the migrant workers saw that there was one more steamed stuffed bun than they bought, they told the boss, "Boss, you took it by mistake and gave you one more."
the boss said, "that's right. This bun is rotten and can't be sold. Take it and eat it."
when the workers heard what the boss said, they happily took the steamed buns to their seats to eat.
if you give intact steamed buns directly to each other, it will inevitably make people feel sympathetic.
A small detail of the boss warmly protects the self-esteem of others, which is a kind of good intentions behind it.
in the journey of life, no one can always go smoothly, there will always be troughs.
it is a rare thoughtfulness to be able to see through other people's embarrassment without making a loud noise.
being able to carefully detect the difficulties of others and help silently is a person's kindness deep to the bone.
there is a saying:
"the real concern is not the superficial warmth, but the temperature of the details."
always believe that being able to avoid embarrassing others is a person's top self-cultivation.
you don't have to say enough to know people, leave a point of decency for others.
there is no need to make public about helping others, but learn to compare your heart to heart.
share with your friends.
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