The growth of life is a process of constantly "seeing a doctor" for yourself.
listen to the main
broadcast Chang Haolang to read
I quite agree with this paragraph:
"get used to finding yourself in the eyes of others and end up at a loss;
magnify yourself from the praise of others, and the result is elated;
twist yourself in other people's comments and end up in a daze. "
at present, many people believe in "planting more flowers and fewer thorns" and are afraid or unwilling to find fault with others, so it is often futile to expect outsiders to "see a doctor" for themselves.
to find your own problems, you still need to look inward and learn to "see a doctor" for yourself.
people who learn to "see a doctor" for themselves will not be beautiful or evil, and have a clear and accurate understanding of themselves.
the growth of life is a process of constantly "seeing a doctor" for yourself, and no one can replace it.
people should be good at finding their own "faults"
as the old saying goes, "if a man is not a saint, he is infallible."
everyone has their own shortcomings and faults, the important thing is not this, but your attitude towards them.
is it often self-examination, good at discovering and correcting, or choosing to turn a blind eye and put all the blame on others.
@ Lao Le
talked about his friend's son Xiaoxiao.
not long ago, Xiaoxiao attended a high school classmate reunion and came back in low spirits. Because another student who attended the party did investment management in a foreign company, he earned a considerable income and was very popular.
he said that his classmate's father, who has been working in the financial industry, has been nurtured since childhood and will inherit the family business in the future.
then, I began to complain about my life: I had to strive for everything by myself, and I was influenced by my mother because of my low EQ and unpopular speech.
in fact, Xiaoxiao graduated from 985 University with a bachelor's degree in architecture. From primary school to high school, his parents' life revolves around him.
after graduating from college, he found a job in a real estate development company, from nine to five every day, smooth and comfortable. Eight hours later, he played TV series and games, and his daily life was not much different.
he habitually envied others and blamed his dissatisfaction on his parents and his original family.
Xiaoxiao's father was very depressed and said to outsiders, "my son still refuses to be responsible to himself."
obviously, Xiaoxiao is a person who is not good at finding his own faults. he attributes his problems to the environment and does not know how to reflect on himself and find the reasons from himself.
some people say: "if everyone can put self-reflection decades in advance, at least half of them can become great people."
this sentence can fully reflect the significance of self-reflection for a person's growth, success and success.
French philosopher Montaigne said:
"knowing that you are ignorant, judging and condemning your ignorance is not complete ignorance;
complete ignorance is ignorance that does not know one's ignorance. "
A person's greatest sorrow is not that he has something wrong with himself, but that he does not know that there is something wrong with him.
only by being good at self-reflection, finding faults in time, and working hard to change, can one's life be stable and far away.
learn to see your emotional illness
Liang Ning, a famous product, once said:
"emotion is a person's underlying operating system.
what drives a person is his mood, his underlying operating system. "
in the adult world, people live in whatever emotions they feel.
if a person cannot see his or her emotional illness and cannot consciously control his emotions, he will only stumble, stumble and suffer.
one year, Microsoft had a project worth nearly $100 million in South America that needed to be taken care of.
Bill Gates understands that the newly recruited managers are all capable of doing the task, and he is just thinking about who is more appropriate to hand it to.
at this time, Patrick was the first to come to the office and said that he was the most suitable person.
although Bill Gates believed in Patrick's abilities, he asked Patrick curiously, "Why weren't you at all positive at the project meeting last week?"
"Last week I happened to have trouble with my wife. In those days, I was in a bad mood and didn't want to do anything.
but this time is different. Everything has been taken care of. I have full confidence. You can rest assured. "
Patrick thinks the project belongs to him, but Bill Gates believes that the project has a bearing on the future of the company, and how can you rest assured that it can be handed over to such an emotionally unstable person.
in the end, Bill Gates gave the project to another manager.
Patrick is no worse than others in ability, but the problem is that he can't control his emotions very well.
there is a term in psychology called "emotional wisdom", which refers to the ability to recognize, understand and manage emotions.
those who cannot recognize and control emotions are "emotionally retarded".
although emotion is not the whole of our life, it can affect our life direction, quality of life and happiness index.
what is the most important thing in life? Nothing but career, family, health, but bad.Emotions can easily destroy these important things and destroy the whole life.
as the saying goes, "if you control your emotions, you control your behavior; if you control your actions, you control your life."
stable mood is not only a standard match for an adult, but also a pattern of great things.
being able to see the "illness" on your body is a kind of self-cultivation
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like this sentence very much:
"A person needs a window to see the outside world and a mirror to see his heart.
the window sees the light outside, and the mirror sees its own shortcomings. "
with the mirror of "introspection", a person can improve his own realm, be clear-minded, and constantly achieve a better self.
knowing how to find a reason from yourself is not only a kind of wisdom in dealing with others, but also a kind of top self-cultivation.
Mr. Fu Peirong, a master of Sinology, is not only knowledgeable, but also an eloquent speaker.
he was invited by CCTV to give a lecture on "the Wisdom of Mencius" in the "hundred forums", which was recognized by many scholars and audiences.
however, who would have thought that Mr. Fu Peirong had the experience of stuttering and was often regarded as a laughingstock.
talking about the experience of being ridiculed, Fu Peirong said:
"others will laugh at you only if you have shortcomings. Instead of worrying about other people laughing at you all day, try to improve yourself."
it is because of the experience that I was not good at expressing myself that I cherish every opportunity to speak more. "
A truly cultured person never blames others easily. They don't complain about heaven, they don't like people, they reflect on themselves, and constantly correct themselves.
psychologists divide people's values into two categories, one is called "weak values" and the other is called "strong values".
the two values actually reflect two different kinds of self-cultivation.
people who hold "weak values" are used to asking "why" when faced with questions:
Why should others look down on me when they have a good life? I was fine. Why am I the one who got sick?
the conditions are similar. Why should someone else be promoted while I stand still?
these people look outward, and there are only complaints, accusations and resentment in their hearts. of course, they cannot feel success and happiness.
people who hold "strong values" will ask "Why" when they have a question:
Why did this happen? what's the problem?
subjective or objective?
if it's subjective, it's because you don't have your IQ, or you don't have EQ or EQ.
these people look inward, often reflect, analyze, adjust, and improve. They will try to overcome difficulties, get out of the haze, and finally embrace happiness and happiness.
being able to see your own "faults" is the beginning of excellence.
the best "doctor" of people
always be yourself
I have read such a short story.
there was a man who was always very distressed. when he heard that the Zen master could eliminate all suffering, he packed his bags and went to the Zen master.
after listening to his story, the Zen master said to him, "you are the only one who can really help free you."
but the man asked inexplicably, "but it is myself who is full of anguish and confusion."
the Zen master smiled and said, "think about it. Who put the anguish and confusion in your heart?"
the man pondered for a long time and did not speak.
the Zen master continued to say, "Let whoever put it in it take it out."
looking at the smiling Zen master, the distressed person finally understood:
my own distress is nothing but a senseless obsession of my own, and I can only rely on myself to get rid of it.
it is better to rely on heaven and earth than to rely on yourself.
Yes, no matter physically or mentally, the best doctor will always be yourself, and the one who really understands you will always be yourself.
ordinary people like you and me, no one can reach the realm of saints, everyone will have some kind of problem.
but the wisdom of "I reflect on myself three times a day" said by Zengzi is a compulsory course in life, and it is worth learning and practicing all our lives.
learn to "see a doctor" for yourself, so that you can constantly improve for the better, stay away from troubles and worries, and make life Shi Lai Yun Zhun (Lucky Dumplings).