I hope you don't lose the courage to love again at any time!
Last night in the middle of the night, I received a message from a reader backstage:
"Uncle, I finally finished the exam and did the bravest thing since I was 18: persuade my parents to divorce.
they have been pretending to be doing well all these years, but I can see more clearly whether they are happy together or not. "
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another year after the college entrance examination, I can't help thinking of my chat with my friends who worked in the Civil Affairs Bureau:
"the wave of divorce that occurs almost every year, one is after the Chinese New year and after the college entrance examination.
when they encounter these children who get divorced after the college entrance examination, the staff generally will not persuade them any more, because this must have been done for many years and after careful consideration. "
in fact, when a marriage comes to an end, it never happens overnight, and you can see it very often.
the sooner you know these truths about marriage, the better!
Don't overestimate your feelings,
Don't bet your life on anyone
Keigo Higano has a classic saying in White Night Walk:
"there are two things in the world that cannot be looked directly at, one is the sun, and the other is the human heart."
We usually think that stone is not hot, but we forget that the human heart is sometimes much harder than stone.
you think you are important in his heart, but you may be completely disappointed in return for your dedication.
there is a foreign program to test boyfriend loyalty. Many people start with hope and end up disappointed.
one of the female guests just started to boast, saying that she was not worried about her weight in her boyfriend's mind.
unexpectedly, when a sexy beauty came to talk to her and praised her boyfriend for his good figure, the tested boyfriend not only did not refuse, but asked for contact information.
the couple, who were about to get married, broke up in discord.
Schopenhauer said: "if you don't want to be too miserable, the safest way is not to expect to be happy."
everyone should live for himself all his life, not for others.
instead of pinning all the hopes of life on one person, it is better to return the overflowing love to yourself.
at any time, if you love someone again, you should know how to keep your dignity and the courage to fight against it. This is the best way to keep a relationship fresh for a long time.
it's not that he doesn't know how to be nice to people.
I just won't be nice to you
see this metaphor:
Women are like pears, sweet on the outside and sour on the inside. But people who eat pears do not know that pear hearts are sour, because they throw their hearts away at the end, so men never understand women's hearts.
and men are like onions, you will keep crying in the process of peeling layer by layer, and you won't know that onions are heartless until the end.
in fact, whether a man or a woman, he is not heartless, nor will he not be nice to others, but he does not want to be nice to you, the most important thing is not to love you.
chatting with friends, she said she couldn't figure out why her ex-husband was like a different person after he remarried.
when the two are together, the ex-husband is not only gluttonous and lazy, but also unwilling to do household chores several times, and has no responsibility to be a husband, not to mention paying attention to the children. The two quarrel about this.
in order to make a living, she just turned a person into a team, but her ex-husband said sarcastically that she didn't have the appearance of a woman.
then she became numb, and in the end, she didn't even bother to quarrel and asked for a divorce.
however, your arsenic, A's honey.
my ex-husband was introduced to his present wife. When I happened to meet him that day, I found that my ex-husband had changed. He not only cared for his present wife, but also talked and laughed with his children. How could I see the idleness when I was with him?
so never try to wake someone who pretends to sleep, and don't try to move someone who doesn't love you.
No matter how kind you are to him, his heart is not on you, and there is no point in doing anything.
the worst thing in the world is not to die alone, but to end up with the person who makes you lonely.
learn to stop loss in time, to meet the right person, and then grow old happily together.
what really crushes the marriage,
is a lot of small details that you don't care about
it is not the last straw, but every one, that really crushes marriage.
in the movie the sufferings of the Family, an old couple has been married for more than 40 years.
on his wife's birthday, the husband asked her what she wanted for her birthday.
the wife calmly took out a divorce agreement from the drawer:
"the children are old, let's get a divorce. This is the birthday present I want, and it's not expensive, it's only 450 yen. "
the husband is dumbfounded, and his children don't know, so how can two people get divorced after half their lives?
until the family meeting, the wife's words revealed the truth:
"I can't stand him more and more. I make a lot of noise and fart every morning, and I wash my pants and socks every time. I hate it. He won't listen to me how many times I say it."
"I don't know how to dry the sink after washing, the toilet lid is not put down after going to the toilet, and the lights are not turned off in time.Drop, eat always make a noise, eat chopsticks and throw them away. "
"when I got married, I really liked him and thought it was masculinity, but now I feel extremely depressed when I am with him."
think about it, there are not so many magnificent things in life, but they are all made up of little things in the family.
and those little things that disagree have become the culprit that overwhelms most people's marriages.
it's like a grain of sand in a shoe, not a mountain in the distance that makes you tired.
the decision to give up is not on a whim, but all kinds of grievances, helplessness and disappointment pile up together, and finally explode quietly one night.
"Marriage Pope" John Gottman said:
"the quality of marriage is not determined by the economic conditions of the family, not by the appearance and ability of both husband and wife, but by their attitude towards family chores."
the so-called love is all kinds of great little things; the so-called marriage is learning to dance on these little things.
Marriage for the sake of children,
is the deepest harm to the child
there are many friends around them who have survived many years of long-distance repair, but have been defeated in a place after marriage.
knowing that love is fruitless and marriage is hopeless, but in order to give children a complete family, they still choose to hold on in a loveless marriage.
but the father no longer loves the mother, and the mother no longer cares about the father. The children see whether they are happy or not every day.
this kind of marriage for the sake of children is the greatest harm to children.
A little boy named AZKA in India drew a group of cartoons after his parents divorced, which moved many people.
"when Mom and Dad decided to divorce, they told me all this so that I didn't have to worry or choose who to live with.
I still live in the previous house, my father is more humorous than before, he will often play with me;
my mother lives very close to me. She comes to see me and play with me almost every day.
there will be a lot of people around me asking me,'
living in a broken home
how does it feel to be a child in court?
but I think they are just no longer husband and wife, but they are still my parents.
I like my present life better than before, because they won't quarrel all the time.
I am very happy. I love Mom and Dad, and you are still the best parents! "
Children's world is actually very simple. All they want is a harmonious relationship between their parents and complete love.
the family is not broken when children can feel selfless love from their parents.
A survey shows that
single-parent families do not cause obstacles in children's study and behavior habits, but they are much happier than children with family conflicts.
it is often said that "the knowing son is not like his mother", but the reverse is the same.
if parents are no longer in love, even a dull child can feel it.
when a marriage comes to an end, confession is the best protection for children, and parents' choices will invisibly affect their lives.
everyone has the right to pursue happiness, but that doesn't mean divorce is right or wrong.
having a child will more or less think about the child, but the two people who are not suitable are reluctantly together, not only for the torture of both sides, but also for the child's irresponsibility.
Qian Zhongshu said, "Marriage is a besieged city. People outside the city want to go in, and people in the city want to get out."
although we know the cruelty of marriage, we still want it because marriage has another name, happiness.
just like Qian Zhongshu and Mr. Yang Jiang, after decades of ups and downs, their feelings are still strong and their life is very sweet, which is still enviable to this day.
therefore, the direction of the marriage ship requires not only the captain to command correctly, but also the helmsman to take a good direction.
everyone yearns for a happy life, but ending an inappropriate marriage is both self-love and love for each other, especially for children.
May we all be lucky enough to meet the right person at the right time and never come to a dead end, regardless of the time of return.
if not, I hope you will not lose the courage to love again at any time.