Every setback is a kind of growth.
some time ago, Miumiu, a 6-year-old girl from Nanjing, became very popular.
she posted nearly 20 playing and singing videos on the Youtube video website, which has won the favor of many overseas netizens.
one of the most popular videos attracted more than 5 million netizens and more than 300000 likes.
before clicking on the video, you can't imagine a 6-year-old girl singing so well!
Milky voice seems to have its own magic, which makes people smile unconsciously as soon as they hear it, and calm down instantly.
it is said that human joys and sorrows are not the same, but music and emotion can cross national boundaries.
someone was conquered, "I have never seen such a lovely and gifted child";
others were moved, "I don't understand the lyrics, but her voice touched my heart";
there are even some musicians who set up a "network band" to accompany and encourage her, "you only care about excellence, the world will accompany you."
however, Miumiu's parents are unusually calm in the face of their daughter's unexpected popularity.
they decisively turned down invitations from many platforms, saying frankly that "music is just a skill." whether they want to follow the path of music in the future depends on the children's own choice.
compared with some parents who let their children become child models and child stars to make money early on, Miumiu's parents' words are really sober and thorough.
sometimes we have to admit that parents with patterns are really indispensable behind those excellent children.
through the hardships of persistence, you will eventually get the sweetness of growth
if you look at the videos before Miumiu, you will find that at the age of 6, she already knows how to play classical guitar, piano, drums and other six instruments, and one person can support a band.
not only does her theoretical knowledge make sense, but her basic skill of plucking strings is also very solid, and her hand speed of climbing the scale is amazing.
many people envy the little girl's talent, but in the eyes of their parents, their daughter is just a very ordinary child. "it all depends on persistent training."
when Miumiu2 was half and a half years old, her parents took her out for a drive with music on the car, but Miumiu hummed along with the music, and the pitch was very good.
Miumiu's mother suddenly realized that music might be a choice for her child's future, so she discussed it with her father so that she could learn systematically.
however, talent and interest are only stepping stones, and what really makes children go further and more stable is the parents' planning and influence on their children.
Miumiu has been practicing guitar since he was three and a half years old, from school in the afternoon to 09:30 in the evening.
during the three months at home at the beginning of the year, Miumiu practiced guitar for more than 6 hours a day, which has already exceeded the lifelong practice of many enthusiasts.
3 years, more than 1000 days, these experiences and processes have become thick calluses on the hands of children.
like all children, Miumiu is very playful. Every time at this time, the father will find ways to ease his daughter's fear of difficulties, and slowly turn this passive practice into his daughter's active interest.
when other parents stop sending their children to interest classes, Miumiu's father has long been able to teach by example.
when the child practices the piano, he is there with him, practicing for a few hours, he is with him for a few hours, and he knows all the hardships the children have suffered.
in fact, the child is like a blank piece of paper. The child will draw whatever color his parents give him.
far-sighted parents will act as guides before their children form a correct outlook on life.
and those persistent sweat will eventually become the strength of the child, accumulate into a ladder for him to climb, supporting him to see the scenery further away.
accept the pain of criticism in exchange for a better self
people make mistakes when they live, and so do children.
before a child's immoral concept is fully formed, if he is young, he will always cause trouble and make mistakes.
when children make mistakes, parents sometimes do not have the heart to criticize or choose to ignore them, which will only make their children brazenly repeat their previous mistakes and fail to distinguish between right and wrong.
recently, I saw a video on Douyin:
in the picture, the clothes drying on the balcony are all mottled with ink, and the ground on the first floor and the outer walls of the building are also splashed with black ink, which is quite ugly.
it turned out that the children upstairs were playful and spilled ink directly from the tall buildings. as a result, all the residents downstairs suffered.
I thought it was another farce caused by a bear child, but the parents' reaction afterwards was praised.
the mother of the child immediately took the child from door to door to apologize, and took all the clothes of the neighbor's "disaster" home, washed by hand with his son in trouble, and bought new ones to compensate others if they were not clean.
the father hired a professional to clean the outer wall and let his son watch in the sun all the time.
on a hot day, the child's face turned red in the sun, but the father showed no mercy.
although the child cannot do this job, the outspoken words of a parent must make him realize the seriousness of his mistakes and things.
We have to applaud the parents' educational philosophy. They tell their children that mistakes are not terrible, that they are responsible for their actions, and that children who actively correct their mistakes will also be forgiven and respected.
think of Rousseau's famous saying: "you know what to do."Is it certain that your child can become an unfortunate person? That is to be obedient to him. "
Yes, if you don't want your child to suffer, the world will make him suffer even more.
No matter how much truth you tell your child, it is not as good as him to personally experience and try, to appreciate the state of mind of making mistakes and correcting mistakes, and to think about where to go.
only after suffering from failure can you have a strong heart
A few days ago, I chatted with a friend I hadn't seen for a long time and somehow talked about her children.
she says that her children are obedient and studious from an early age.
when I was in kindergarten, I was often praised by teachers. It can be said that I grew up in the hands of everyone.
but after going to primary school, these things have changed.
one day, she saw the child come back with a shriveled mouth and said she didn't want to go to school. It took her a long time to know that the child wanted to be a class cadre, but her classmates only voted for him two times.
the child was badly hit and looked depressed for a long time.
this is also a headache for friends. Although it is a good thing for children to be self-motivated, if they become a glass heart and cannot afford to lose, they cannot bear trifles. How can they face the greater storms of life in the future?
there is competition everywhere in life, and where there is competition, there is winning or losing.
We can't let the child avoid failure, but in every competition in life, let the child taste the frustration and let him know that "it is more important to lose than to win." this is also a kind of love.
Children who are not allowed to fall behind and have no personal experience of the pain of failure will only be stressed and at a loss when they encounter setbacks.
only when you have experienced the pain of being beaten to the ground, not reconciled to suffering, and encounter greater difficulties, can you make a strong counterattack with the attitude of "I do not accept".
as Liu Zhenyun wrote in his book: "Life does not win or lose, but once you have the will to win or lose, you are the loser."
winning is not necessarily gratifying, losing is not necessarily sad. For children, winning or losing is not important, the most important thing is the posture that falls and stands up.
there is a question on Zhihu: which do you choose, the first bitter before the sweet or the first sweet before the bitter?
one of the answers is:
I have never worked hard in the first half of my life, but I can only struggle in pain in the second half of my life. Looking back, I find that the mediocrity of the first half of my life is not sweet, but rather sour.
the same applies to children.
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many parents say that we try our best to create good conditions for our child in order to make him suffer less.
but we can't always hold umbrellas for our children, nor can we kick off all the stumbling blocks. Some hardships must be eaten by ourselves, and some tiredness can never escape.
far-sighted parents, who know how to force their children, stand idly by even if they don't have the heart, and push behind their backs even if they are not understood.
because they know that every setback is a kind of growth, and every time they experience a blow, they will be more mature.
and when the child's wings are full and fight against the sky, time will finally prove that all bitterness is not bitter, and all sweetness is sweet.