Love and hate at will.
between people, they are all mutual
Cai Kangyong once said:
"Human feelings are not gold jewelry, and there is no so-called human feelings if they are locked in a safe." Going back and forth is called a favor. "
in fact, people get along with each other.
A heart will get cold after it has been cooled for a long time.
A person who has been disappointed for a long time will turn around.
A friendship, which has been consumed for a long time, will disappear.
when Sanmao was studying abroad, he not only took care of the hygiene of the entire dormitory, but also took the initiative to help roommates make beds, fold clothes, and even mop the floor and clean.
but these roommates not only did not thank Sanmao, but also gave all the hard work to Sanmao to do, and then they got an inch in exchange for Sanmao's complete departure.
there was a topic on Zhihu: what do you think is the best relationship state?
there is a highly praised answer: the equal contribution of both parties is the basis of a long-term relationship.
sometimes, when others treat you well, it is not that you should be nice to you, but that you should also learn to help others.
sometimes, the tolerance of others to you is not that they should be tolerant to you, but that you should also learn to think of others.
in fact, everyone is not stupid, once you wantonly to overdraft and consume other people's good to you, others will completely cold heart and give up on you.
No matter how good the relationship is, keep the distance
there is a hedgehog rule.
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when two sleepy hedgehogs hug each other tightly because of cold, they both feel uncomfortable with each other because they both have thorns on their bodies.
when they leave some space and distance to each other, they will not hurt each other, but can also keep each other warm.
the relationship between people needs to be measured and measured.
actors Chen Kun and Zhou Xun have had a friendship in show business for 20 years. They even live in the same neighborhood, one upstairs and the other downstairs.
but whenever Zhou Xun experienced setbacks and pain in his relationship, Chen Kun never intervened and participated excessively.
Chen Kun was asked why the relationship between two people was so good that he didn't care.
Chen Kun's answer is, I think you should do what you should do and face it yourself.
you fell into the pit. I'll give you space if you want to face it yourself. I'll be there when you need me.
the writer Sanmao once said, "No matter how close your friends are, you can't miss the measure. You think you are familiar with yourself, and you end up in reverse isolation."
if you go too far between people, the relationship is easy to become cold.
but if you get too close, it is easy to burn and disturb each other.
keep the proper distance and the relationship between each other, so that you can advance and retreat freely, and only then can the water flow for a long time.
No matter how good the relationship is, cherish each other
in the TV series Nirvana in Fire, there is a line:
"how many good friends are there in the world, who are of the same age and like-minded, and could have never crossed each other all their lives.
but who would have expected a sudden change? from then on, we can only watch Tianya's journey far away. "
the relationship between people is delicate.
sometimes it looks indestructible, but sometimes it's so vulnerable.
sometimes it looks unbreakable, but sometimes it always breaks down at a touch.
Wu Mengda and Zhou Xingchi have been partners for 12 years, but they haven't seen each other, worked together or even contacted each other for 20 years after the movie Shaolin Football.
once, when Wu Mengda talked about this friendship, he said sadly:
"I know him very well and know each other very well. We have such a tacit understanding that we know what each other is thinking with a look in our eyes. "
but when the host asks him:
"for you, a friendship that was so close in the past has since disappeared. is this disappearance a great pity for you?"
Wu Mengda hesitated and finally said:
"I sometimes wonder what caused the feeling of being a little out of touch with each other.
move to another place, there is another environment, contact each other less and less, become as if everyone does not know, how to break through this opening.
I'm sure he's thinking, too. But in any case, it is not easy to get to know each other. "
in fact, no matter how good the relationship is, you should learn to cherish it.
when there is a misunderstanding or contradiction between two people, if you don't talk about it, I won't ask. If you don't really wait for it, and I won't open my heart, then there will be a gap between them until they drifted apart.
Don't overestimate your relationship with anyone
many times, we always attach great importance to our relationship with others.
sometimes, if you expect too much, you will be disappointed. Sometimes, if you expect too much, you will despair.
actor Sha Yi once mentioned in the program that one night, he looked through his cell phone and found that no one had sent him a message except for his son.
at that time, he felt very lost, and then he realized that he always thought he was very important, but in fact, everyone was not that important in the hearts of others.
in this world, maybe you know a lot of friends and acquaintances, but there are few people who really care about you.
recently, Lao Wang opened a fruit storeNot only was it closed for several months, there was no income at all, but the rent was not reduced at all.
when he was in the most difficult time, he wanted to borrow 5,000 yuan from Lao Liu, a friend he had known for more than 20 years, and planned to return it by the end of the year.
but when he just got on the phone and didn't even have time to say the words, Lao Liu seemed to realize something, so he immediately mentioned that his relationship with his wife had been very tense recently.
this obviously implies that it is impossible for Lao Wang to lend him money. Later, Lao Wang hung up the phone, but his heart suddenly got cold.
We must not put any friendship on an incredible height, because some people in your life are just acquainted with each other because of coincidence and fate, and they are not good enough to bear the wind and rain together.
when I grow up, may you and I learn to be close and close, love and hate at will, live up to any relationship, and don't overestimate any relationship.