No matter what you do, you must first learn to be a man and learn to accept different values.
in Zhihu, someone once said:
"although the three values are different, different world outlook values do not mean who is high and who is low. Mutual respect is to reflect a person's self-cultivation. Even if I don't agree with you, I can understand different values."
We always emphasize that we should be with people who share the same values.
in fact, there are no two identical leaves in this world.
learn to respect the differences of others in order to win the recognition and favor of others and to make each other get along more harmoniously and harmoniously.
respect other people's choices and decisions
in the variety show "Wild Kitchen", actors Li Xia and Wang Han went fishing, but in the end he was criticized by many netizens because he couldn't get up.
during the meal, Li Xia voluntarily mentioned that when he was eating Sha Sautéed Crab yesterday, he had a particularly strong feeling that he was sand and was of no use at all.
at that time, Wang Han immediately sensed his depression and immediately replied:
"without sand in the sea, he is the beach, and the beauty of the sea is reduced by half."
but Li Xia still felt a little sorry and said:
"crabs will be delicious without sand, just like the show will look better without yourself."
Wang Han added:
"it's uncomfortable to get sand in your eyes, but when you get him out, you often bring tears."
in fact, Li Xia had already decided to leave the show at that time. After saying this, all the guests present looked at each other in surprise, but Wang Han replied:
"Birthday is an adult, and we should respect the decisions made by adults."
in fact, a person with a really high EQ is never forced to inculcate his own values in others, but he must know how to give others a step forward and leave a point of decency.
is not unique.
A few years ago, in the program "I am a Singer", singer Sun Nan said without warning that he was going to withdraw from the competition, disrupting the rules of the competition.
in the face of this sudden situation, Wang Han immediately said:
"for a good singer, it must be a big deal for a good singer to say that he has decided to quit the competition in the final.
as a live host, I did not interrupt Brother Nan's speech. Although I have the right, I respect the decision of a mature man. "
Kant once said: "I respect any independent soul, although I do not agree with some, but I can understand as much as possible."
A truly mature person does not use his own values to one-sidedly measure the rights and wrongs of others, nor does he use this as a criterion to interfere with other people's choices.
avoid being with others
there is an argument
in life, we always like to prove ourselves right and others wrong.
in fact, a really high EQ person knows that if you want to convince others, the most important thing is not to argue with others, but to make others feel comfortable.
Carnegie once told a story.
A few years ago, a stubborn and argumentative Irishman came to his workshop. His name was O'Hal. He didn't have a good education, but he liked to argue and find fault with others.
he used to be a driver and a salesman in a car company. he got up early in the morning and did the job day and night, but his performance was mediocre, so he came to Carnegie for help.
after talking to him, Carnegie discovered that he had a fatal flaw in selling cars, that is, he often argued with customers.
so Carnegie was not in a hurry to teach him how to speak, but trained him to talk less and avoid arguing with others.
later, O'Hal became a successful salesman, and he also talked about his successful experience.
for example, when he walks into a customer's office, the other person says:
"what? White car? I can't get that car. I won't even take it for free. Hu Xue's truck looks good. I'm going to buy it. "
after listening to the customer, he not only did not object or argue, but also followed the other side's words:
"dude, you're right. Hu Xue's truck is really good.
if you buy theirs, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with it. Hu Xue is the product of a big company, and the salesmen are also very capable. "
customers naturally let go of their resistance when they heard him say this, and then he could find an opportunity to introduce the advantages of White to them.
so after a harmonious relationship with each other, customers can calmly compare and finally choose to buy a car from him.
Franklin once said:
"debate and rebuttal may lead you to victory, but that victory is short and illusory.
there is one thing you will never get, and that is your affection in the other person's heart. "
in fact, no matter what you want to do, you must first learn to be a man.
most of the time, IWe will not support a person who always refutes himself, but will leave more trust to those who really respect themselves.
do not try to
there is a saying: "changing yourself is God, changing others is a psychopath."
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sometimes, we often try to change others with our own habits and values. In fact, we know how to respect other people's differences so that we can get along more harmoniously.
on the contrary, the stronger you are, the easier it is to distance yourself from each other, and the more paranoid you are, the more likely it is to cause a greater rift in your relationship.
in the TV series Ode to Joy, Quxiaoxiao is a rich second generation, who grew up as a ghost, ignorant, very active, and likes lively social activities.
but Dr. Zhao was born into a family of senior intellectuals. He is a young doctor and very quiet. His greatest interest is reading books and listening to classical music.
Quxiao, an enthusiastic man, also went to listen to symphonies she didn't like at all for Dr. Zhao, went to see plays that she found very boring, and even studied MBA.
the gentle and calm Dr. Zhao also went with her to some dinners he didn't want to eat with her for the sake of Quxiao, and even said some flattering words in order to support her.
after countless on-off and on-off, Dr. Zhao finally said to Quxiao:
"I've thought that if I want to be with you, I have to accept our inconsistencies."
in fact, a good relationship does not mean that the three values must be the same, but that even if there are many differences from each other, they still know how to accept the differences.
in the first half of my Life, Lao Jin once invited Zijun to a friend party.
Zijun dressed up specially at that time, but Lao Jin said dissatisfactorily, "you usually dress like this, and so do your friends, but my friends will think you are strange, and they will think we are not suitable."
so he suggested that Zijun wear jeans and a pair of flat shoes.
but Luo Zijun refused. She said, "if you think I have a problem, then I have a problem no matter what I do."
so the two broke up like this.
there is a saying: "A good relationship is 0.5-0.5-1, not 1-1-1-2."
in fact, in this world, two people who do not fully match each other do not want to have a good relationship, not to make each other the same person, but to accept each other's differences.
any attempted change will not only make you uncomfortable, but also make the other person uncomfortable, and such a combination will not last long, let alone happiness.
someone on Zhihu asked, "what is a cultured person like?"
the most popular answer is: "the word 'respect' is rigidly engraved on the face and heart."
in fact, we will meet many people in our lives, but not everyone has the same thinking, the same habits and the same values as you.
more times, when we learn to accept other people's different views, different views, different lifestyles, we can get along better with others.
share with your friends.
this book is published under authorization.