The world is vast, but enthusiasm is limited.
most people who like to cause trouble have no sense of boundary
Thoreau wrote in Walden:
"We live too crowded. So I think we lack mutual respect. "
the relationship between people is a science, and only the right distance is the most comfortable.
if you get along without boundaries and don't know enough is enough, it will cause trouble to others.
my friend Xiaoying lived frugally and bought a small apartment in Shanghai with her husband.
Last year, a distant relative in her hometown suddenly called her and said that she and her wife had retired and wanted to come to Shanghai for a visit.
but relatives feel that the hotel is too expensive to spend so much money on accommodation, so they want to stay at her house for a few days.
Xiaoying thought to herself that since people had opened this mouth to her, and she was an elder after all, it was not easy for her to refuse.
and the two elders lived in her house for almost a week.
period, Xiaoying and her husband helped with all kinds of troubles, including playing with them for two days on weekends.
although there are many inconveniences to live together, the good news is that her husband always comforts her to relax a little bit. After all, she is a relative of her parents' generation and leaves after a few days.
I want to stay at Xiaoying's house for a few months, so that I can save a lot of rent.
after hearing this, Xiaoying felt really uncomfortable, and she couldn't accept the trouble of taking an inch.
so he found an excuse to politely refuse the request.
unexpectedly, relatives asked her:
is it because you are city dwellers now that you look down on them and refuse to help them at all?
in fact, in life, it is obligatory for others to help you, and it is also their duty not to help you.
but there are always people who take the kindness and politeness of others for granted and as an excuse to cross the line.
do not realize that there are insurmountable boundaries between people, especially those who are not so close. If we break through this boundary, it will bring cracks to our relationship.
but those who like to cause trouble to others tend to lack a sense of boundaries.
people who like to cause trouble are mostly inconsiderate of others
Zhihu has such a question: "what kind of experience is thick-skinned?"
the answer that is highly liked is like this.
"all their actions are just for their own convenience, regardless of whether they are bothering others."
then the respondent shared one thing.
on a trip to Tibet, he booked a berth ticket. He had planned to have a good sleep on the train so that he would have the energy to have a good time the next day.
the middle-aged man looked at his seat number and patted him directly, trying to change the position of the lower bunk.
he was suddenly woken up by such an unreasonable request, and he didn't want to change it, so he didn't agree.
unexpectedly, when the man saw him refuse, he stood in front of the bed and began to accuse him:
"you are such a young man, how can you be so stingy!
what's wrong with changing places? I don't like climbing the upper bunk. "
under the patient mediation of the flight attendants, the man stopped such unreasonable demands, but in the upper bunk, he still caused a lot of trouble.
think of a sentence that Cai Kangyong said:
"the reason for causing trouble to others may come from ignorance and lack of quality, but the root of everything lies in his selfishness and never pays attention to others."
in life, it is not difficult to see some phenomena:
when crossing the road, the green light is not on, and there are always people who jaywalk casually, regardless of how much trouble it will bring to others.
my own task is only for convenience, and never takes into account how much time it will cost others.
similar behavior is common.
and the reason why many people don't think there's anything wrong with doing these things is that they lack empathy.
therefore, when they do things, they will not take care of others, let alone think that they are causing trouble to others.
Don't cause trouble to others is the best upbringing.
Leo Tolstoy said, "Don't bother others what you can do."
in my opinion, this is also the most basic upbringing of communication between people.
such a scene was recorded on camera at a 24-hour supermarket in Japan.
the clerk in the supermarket asked him why he came to buy it so late.
the old man replied, "if you come during the day, it will disturb other guests to buy things or check out."
because he is inconvenient to move and is in a wheelchair, so he chooses to be at this point in time.
after the video was posted on the Internet, it attracted warm praise from netizens.
before they do something, they will consider whether their behavior isIt can cause trouble to others.
Zhang Quanling once told the story of a classmate:
one day, a classmate who grew up in Shanghai brought a friend home to live. When he got up to wash up in the morning, the friend found that all the neighbors were staring at him.
I can't help but feel surprised. Isn't it just brushing your teeth? is it worth being seen?
Zhang Quanling explained that in Shanghai, most people live in tube buildings, and there are 20 or 30 people who brush their teeth and wash their faces and cook with that faucet.
when it's time to wash in the morning, the children are in a hurry to go to school, the young people are in a hurry to go to work, and the old people are in a hurry to wash clothes and cook.
if someone has been holding the faucet, it is taking up other people's time and causing trouble to others.
so for a long time, people formed the habit of picking up water and washing beside them.
although it is convenient with others, it is convenient with yourself.
but people who can do this often have a scale in their mind. no matter what they do, their priority is always whether their actions will cause some trouble to others.
and what is hidden in this small detail of "no trouble to others" is a person's best upbringing.
for the rest of your life, stay away from people who always bother you
some people say that good relationships come out of mutual trouble.
this sentence actually means: under the premise of not crossing the line with each other, two people help each other in life, so as to enhance their relationship.
does not mean that you take it for granted to bother others, and you are not aware of it.
after the painter Qi Baishi became famous, many people came to ask for paintings, but he agreed to all of them.
because of a steady stream of "trouble", he finally got tired and had a serious illness.
after his serious illness, Qi Baishi changed his previous attitude and posted the following words on the door:
selling pictures regardless of friendship, if a gentleman is ashamed, please pay according to Runge.
Flowers plus insects and birds, ten yuan each, vines and bees, twenty yuan each;
paintings that have gone out should not be mended later; paintings that have gone out should not be added later.
there are too many troublesome moments like this in our lives.
you don't know the depth of water, and you don't know whether it's good or bad.
so, most of the time, you should learn to be sharp when you are soft and kind.
the world is vast and enthusiasm is limited. From now on, may you:
for those who will only cause you trouble, do not know how to measure and be ungrateful, look away as soon as possible.
share with your friends.