The greatest upbringing of a person is not politeness, not politeness, but...
The greatest upbringing of a person is not politeness, not politeness, but...
May you become an educated person and have a good life.

Liang Xiaosheng, a famous writer, gave a very reliable explanation of "culture":

"kindness for the sake of others is rooted in inner self-cultivation, self-consciousness without reminding, freedom based on restraint."

and the other side of culture is actually the embodiment of "upbringing".

the greatest achievement in one's life is the ability to achieve the above sentence!

kindness for the sake of others

when I was visiting Zhihu, I came across a topic comment: is there anything unforgettable to this day?

there is an impressive answer from a netizen below:

he said that at school, the family of four were crammed into a narrow space of 14.5 square meters, making life extremely inconvenient.

the hardest part is winter, when there is no money to go to the bathhouse and the family cannot afford to take a bath.

so I often endure not taking a bath for a winter, and my neck and heel are covered with a layer of dirt for a long time.

in the fourth grade, a new head teacher came to the class and often invited him and another classmate to make briquettes at home.

every time they get dirty after work, the teacher asks them to wash them clean before going home.

at an alumni reunion many years later, the accomplished netizen smiled and shared with you the fact that every time he went to the teacher's house to help when he was a child, he was able to take a bath as fun.

the teacher's daughter was also present at that time. After the meeting, she sent him a text message: "do you think you are really asked to help?" Actually, it was my dad who wanted you to take a shower. "

he woke up to the fact that it was the teacher who had been carefully guarding his dignity, and he had no idea for so many years.

Zhu Bolu, an ideologist, once said, "Evil, fear of being known, is great evil; good, wanting to be known, is not true good."

instead of going to Shi En, the teacher saved his fragile student self-esteem with well-intentioned reasons.

We often say that intelligence is a gift, while kindness is a choice.

Talent is inborn and does not need too much care, but kindness is different. It is the softest and most powerful emotion in human nature.

if there are angels in the world, it must be everyone's accumulation of a little bit of kindness, and the number of angels will be added to each hand.

after a heavy rain, the car will drive slowly past where there is stagnant water, or let passers-by go first;

although there are many vacant seats in the subway, migrant workers are afraid of soiling their seats, so they simply sit on their helmets.

it was getting colder and colder, and the dessert shopkeeper sent a cup of hot milk tea to all the takeout staff who came to pick up the order.


kindness does not distinguish between rich and poor, it is a kind of life instinct, perhaps a gentle attitude, concerned eyes, perhaps euphemistic words, smiling eyes.

remember to keep a basic kindness for yourself at any time in your life.

Don't be afraid that your kindness will be in vain. A person who treats the world gently will eventually be treated gently by the world.

cultivation rooted in the heart

A person's appearance is based on his physical appearance and his mind.

Beauty and ugliness of facial features can be acquired, but the appearance of the heart needs moral self-control.

writer Liang Xiaosheng once told a story that happened to him:

on a trip to Rome, I found two streets specializing in antiques. One family went in to have a look.

after a family went in, I buried my head at small sculptures and cultural relics, and then asked an old gentleman about the price.

asked a few questions, but the old man said he wouldn't sell them.

I wonder: "Why not sell it?"

he told the truth: "this is my shop. You come in without saying hello to me." Just watch it there and ask me if I want to sell it, but I won't sell it. "

A word from the old man woke me up in an instant.

in fact, the people who wake up are not only the storytellers, but also the storytellers.

the level of a person's self-cultivation, regardless of whether he is gorgeously dressed or shabby, noble or humble, the important thing is whether he knows how to respect others.

there are some prominent but unlikable people in life, while some people are very comfortable with each other although they are simple and simple.

they tend to be gentle, do things properly, behave politely, and give others the least respect.

when an actress was on a plane, the stewardess went to tidy it up after the plane landed and found that the quilt on her seat was neatly folded.

she was immediately electrocuted: "in the past, the first-class guests all huddled up the quilts, threw them under their feet and left. I was so touched that she would fold them neatly."

sometimes, even the smallest details can make a person more attractive.

people in the world are not afraid of material poverty, but most of all are afraid of spiritual poverty.

people with real self-cultivation never think of themselves as superior and put their sense of superiority on their faces and lips.

because the poor and the rich are not as good as upbringing.

self-awareness without reminding

once read such a story in a book:

every time you cast a net, there is always a harvest, but every time the net is pulled up, the Chinese always pick and throw most of the shrimp and crabs back into the sea.

the nephew was puzzled: "it's not easy to hit, why throw it back?"

the Chinese replied calmly, "every citizen who goes out to sea to catch fish and shrimp knows that only fish and shrimp that meet the size prescribed by the state can be caught."

the nephew said, "this is far away on the high seas. No one cares about you."

the Chinese smiled faintly: "not everything needs to be reminded and urged!"

indeed, self-consciousness does not need to be reminded. It is a code of conduct that you will abide by at all times.

educated people know to wait in line for the bus and not to waste their meals. they will take the initiative to avoid when others type in their passwords, and they will try their best to bear the trouble.

only by comparing one's heart to heart and putting oneself in one's shoes can one always pay attention to his words and deeds.

the ancients said: "the gentleman fears the destiny of heaven, the adults, and the words of saints." The villain is not afraid because he does not know his destiny. "

Life in the world, all in a variety of rules, some are written, some are established.

people who are not in awe, there is no bottom line in doing things, there is no stop in words and deeds, and they seem to be unrestrained, but they will give people a bad impression of domineering.

and those who are in awe stop doing something. Know what to do and what not to do, so you can go far and walk steadily.

Freedom based on constraints

Hungarian poet Petofi once said:

"Life is precious, love is more expensive, and if it is for freedom, both can be thrown away."

through the ages, everyone has been striving for freedom, but does freedom mean following the heart at will and without principle?

this is not the case.

anyone who likes to fly kites knows this principle:

because of the help of the wind and the traction of the line, the kite can take off and sway in the air.

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once there is no bondage of the line, it not only cannot float in the air, but also falls to the ground.

the self with constraint as the premise is freedom, and freedom without restraint is called indulgence.

Xu Heng, an outstanding thinker in ancient times, on a flight with others, found a big pear tree nearby, which was full of sweet fruit.

because of the long journey and the hot weather, everyone asked me to climb the tree to pick pears. Heng was the only one who sat upright under the tree and was unmoved.

someone asked him, "Why don't you pick a pear to quench your thirst?"

Xu Heng replied, "if you don't have your own pears, how can you pick them randomly?"

the person who asked could not help laughing, "now that the situation is in turmoil and everyone is fleeing separately, the owner of this pear tree is no longer here. Why do you mind?"

Xu Heng said, "if the pear tree has lost its master, is there no master in my heart?" So there was no pear picking.

it is everyone's freedom to speak loudly, to speak loudly, to eat at will, but once your freedom interferes with other people's lives, it is to cross the line.

imagine that if freedom is to take away what you like directly, those who don't like it will scold them at first and do whatever they want, won't the world be out of order?

so there is no absolute freedom, only freedom based on constraints.

writer Dean once said:

"upbringing, this thing is like a blood vessel. Can grow intertwined in the deepest part of a person's flesh and blood, inseparable. "

people who are really educated have peace of mind, true feelings, and understand that the world is their own and that of others.

, may you become an educated person and have a good life, and may all the people around you be educated and take it as light!