The highest living method for adults: no explanation, no flattery, no clinging.
The highest living method for adults: no explanation, no flattery, no clinging.
The rest of life is short, it is better to live in your own heart than to live in the eyes of others.





recently, the Nobel Prize has been settled, and Haruki Murakami has once again become the center of heated discussion.

it is a pity that this year's Nobel Prize winner is still not him, but the American poet Glick.

fans could not accept the result for a while, feeling that Murakami had not lived up to their expectations, but he remained as indifferent as in previous years.

in the early years, he talked about his views on the Nobel Prize:

"except for special awards whose evaluation criteria are limited to numerical values, there is no objective evidence of value for anyone whose name is a prize, from the Academy Award to the Nobel Prize for Literature."

some people think he is hypocritical, others think he is arrogant, and even ignore the Nobel Prize.

but the more I experience, the more I understand that this attitude of ignoring everything is actually a kind of valuable wisdom.

Life is always your own and has nothing to do with others.

not explaining, thanking or forcing is the highest way for adults to live.

people who don't understand you don't have to explain

Liao Yimei said in "soft":

"in our lives, when we meet love, sex is not rare, what is rare is to meet understanding."

the most difficult thing for people to get along with is to understand each other. In many cases, it is normal to be misunderstood.

I.M. Pei is a famous architect in Chinese history.

he was appointed as the designer of the Louvre reconstruction project, but almost all the members of the design institute opposed the decision at that time.

so they discredit I.M. Pei in various ways.

it was advertised everywhere: "I.M. Pei will destroy Paris."

others ridiculed I.M. Pei's design draft: "what kind of crap is this?"

under these incitement,

many people in France

the emotion is getting more and more excited.

one day, when I.M. Pei was walking down the street, a woman deliberately spit on him and humiliated him, but he just laughed it off.

he didn't lose his temper because of other people's misunderstandings, nor did he spend a lot of energy explaining and clarifying himself, but devoted himself to his work.

later he used a pyramid design to make the Louvre the proudest building for the French.

this achievement is the best response to those who misunderstand themselves.

Liu Tong wrote such a paragraph:

"used to explain and go to the theory, afraid, afraid of offending people, afraid of being destroyed, afraid of those small feelings that keep jumping around.

if I don't explain or theory now, I'm still afraid of wasting my time, blurring my focus, and affecting my appetite for tasting earthly life. "

I like to explain when I am young, but I realize later that most of the time your explanation may not be able to get the other person's understanding.

those who understand you do not need to explain, and those who do not understand you are not worth explaining.

do your own thing, and time will tell.

people who don't care about you don't have to please

Jiang Fangzhou said:

"the one who really appreciates you is the way you look proud, not the way you pretend to be humble or likeable."

A relationship that requires you to keep a low profile to please is not destined to last; a relationship that you need to maintain carefully is destined to be unreliable.

there is a very impressive segment in the movie "palpitating Heart".

one sunny afternoon, Bryce moved to a small town with her parents and became neighbors with Julie.

Julie fell in love with Bryce at first sight, and more coincidentally, they became classmates later.

Julie's farm keeps countless chickens. In order to get close to Bryce, she sends them fresh eggs every morning.

I thought Bryce would take a fancy to her because, after all, the other neighbors had to pay for it.

until one day, she delivered the eggs and was about to leave when she turned around and found that Bryce was about to throw the eggs away as garbage.

when pressed by her, Brestein said:

"my father thinks your chicken coop is dirty and is afraid that if you eat your eggs, you will be infected with salmonella."

obviously, Bryce is not grateful for Julie's efforts.

Julie broke her heart and broke off with Bryce completely.

blindly flatter, not necessarily in exchange for each other's sincere treatment, some people, no matter how good they are useless.

in the recent "talk Show", Li Xueqin mentioned in the performance that since she became popular, she often saw a lot of negative comments.

she said calmly that she was sad after reading it and reflected a lot on herself.

how many people say "I don't like you either".

in life, people come and go, some people like you, naturally some people hate you, some people care about you, and some people don't care about you.

you don't have to worry about it, let alone please them.

as Mr. Yang Jiang said, "the world is your own and has nothing to do with others."

on the way of life, you are the protagonist, others are just the scenery along the way.

instead of being happy by pleasing others, it is better to live your life seriously.

doesn't belong to you.There is no need to cling to the circle

I don't know if you have the feeling that no matter how we live, we are always tied up in large and small circles.

in order to integrate into the group, in order to meet the expectations of others, we desperately suppress ourselves and cater to others.

you don't know that it doesn't belong to your circle, and it won't do you any good even if you force it in.

I remember that when I was in college, there was a girl in my class who was disliked by her roommate because she was fat and avoided her every time she went to dinner or class.

but she has always wanted to have a good relationship with her roommates, usually fetch water for her roommates whenever she has time, and invite her roommates to dinner on weekends.

gradually, she thought she had become their friend and integrated into their circle.

until one day, she heard a classmate joke with her roommate: "you have a good relationship with that fat girl now."

the roommate said in disgust, "No way, but she is so enthusiastic that we are embarrassed to refuse."

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she suddenly realized that there was no place for her in their circle.

later, at a classmate reunion, we talked about our current situation.

We were all surprised to hear that she was already an executive of a listed company.

in fact, in many cases, low-quality social interaction is not as good as high-quality solitude.

doesn't belong to your circle, you don't have to cling to it.

leave time to yourself so that you can constantly improve yourself and live your true self.

"defiant" is the most advanced way of living for adults

many times our pain comes from paying too much attention to other people's eyes and living in other people's eyes and mouths.

really smart people know that it is better to pay attention to others than to invest in themselves, and "defiance" is a smarter choice.

as Professor Chen Guo of Fudan said:

"We can live as ourselves, live a little more authentic, a little more real, this is the sincerity and kindness to ourselves."

the rest of life is short and not long. It is better to live in your own heart than to live in the eyes of others.

instead of wronging oneself and pandering to others, it is better to keep your heart clear and live a transparent life.