Be silent at the right time and grasp the size of being a man.
writer Ernest Hemingway has a famous saying about speech:
"it takes two years to learn to speak, but a lifetime to learn to shut up."
speaking is an art.
being able to speak is a skill, but knowing to be silent at the right time is the most difficult practice in one's life.
to be a man is to be measured, in fact, to speak and do things properly when getting along with others.
No questioning, no delusion, no disclosure, are all the limits of speaking and the size of being a human being.
Don't ask questions, it's kind of kind
Man is a very stubborn animal. He knows full well that there is a tiger in the mountain, so he is partial to the tiger mountain, does not hit the south wall and never looks back.
there is a knot in everyone's heart. If you can't untie it, you can't let it go.
but not everything needs to be found out and asked.
when people are alive, being smart is sometimes a sin, but being confused will be easier and happier.
in the sitcom Seinfeld, there is a character named George.
once, George went to participate in a volunteer activity in a community nursing home.
the old man he helps is 86 years old, his partner has died, he lives alone in a nursing home, but he is extremely happy every day.
George was puzzled after seeing this fact. He didn't understand how one could be so happy when he was like this.
so he kept asking the old man: are you afraid? You know you don't have a few years to live, right? How can you not be afraid when you are so close to death? You must be in a lot of pain, right?
finally, the old man couldn't stand it any longer and said a word angrily: get out!
the reason why old people do this is obvious.
because the process of George's pressing questions is to cut across the board the wounds that the old man does not want to be seen.
truly moral people don't do this.
just like Dong Qing once cried in the face of the sudden collapse of the star Xu Jinglei in the Reader, and did not further ask her the reason for her collapse for the sake of the effect of the program.
because of understanding, so compassion.
everyone has some hidden secrets, some relatively heavy past events, do not want others to know, let alone be inquired into.
it is cruel to others to satisfy their own curiosity to uncover other people's scars.
most of the time, not asking questions is a kind of noble and kind-hearted person.
No doubt, it's a kind of self-cultivation
Zhuangzi says, "if you are not a fish, you will know the joy of fish."
means that if you don't know others, don't speculate on them according to your own ideas, let alone judge and comment on others at will.
there is a public service advertisement in Thailand:
an extremely fierce woman went to the vegetable market to collect rent. As soon as she entered the market, she yelled at a peddler and asked him to pay the rent in time.
then he went to a butcher's stall, grabbed the butcher's shop and slammed it to the ground.
then instructed people to take away all the goods from a female stall owner.
this bullying picture was recorded and posted on the Internet by the citizens present.
the video aroused public outrage, with netizens accusing the landlady of being unscrupulous and calling for not to go to the vegetable market to buy food.
before long, however, other vendors in the vegetable market took the initiative to help the landlady clarify.
Are you getting impatient when looking for a beautiful and sturdy casual mother of the bride dresses now? Large varieties of shapes and cuts for you to choose from.
it turns out that the hawker who was scolded by the landlady for paying the rent in time has been in arrears for several months.
the butcher shop was thrown down because they had been short for a long time, and the landlady was warning them severely;
asked people to take away the goods of the female stall owner, also because seeing that her life was not easy, she bought her goods out of her own money, so that she could continue to run the stall on which their family depended.
the crowd around the onlookers only saw the surface of the matter and did not know the whole truth, so they speculated and commented improperly, so that the landlady was wronged.
there are also many such people and things in life.
see only a corner of the whole truth, jump to conclusions, attack and judge others, and make others deeply hurt by verbal violence.
writer Wang Xiaobo said:
"the spatter of mouth foam is at a very low level to judge the value of others."
if you don't know anything about other people's affairs, don't talk about it casually, let alone jump to conclusions. This is one's greatest accomplishment.
just like the line Andy said in Ode to Joy:
you can have different opinions, but you don't have the right to throw stones.
everyone has their own lives and choices. As spectators, we should not judge other people's lives at will.
Don't say it, it's a kind of wisdom
A good philosophy of life pays attention to a "sense of division".
in dealing with people, leaving leeway to speak is not sleek and sophisticated, but the wisdom of respecting others, taking into account their feelings, and making each other comfortable.
thinker Zhang Binglin once ran into financial trouble and had to pull down his face and ask a friend for help.
so this friend personally went to Suzhou, and after some innocuous pleasantries, he folded a money ticket and secretly pressed it under the tea bowl to save Zhang Binglin's face.
not only give a helping hand to a friend, but also put himself in the position of saving face for a friend, so that the other party does not have a sense of embarrassment to accept charity, but also better consolidate this friendship.
to see through is wisdom; not to speak through is the heart.
behind it is a sense of appropriateness, a reflection of life experience and self-cultivation, and wisdom that can be considered from each other's point of view.
writer Jia Pingwa also wrote a story about a friend:
A friend stutters and speaks slowly. One day he comes across someone asking for directions on the road, but this person stutters unexpectedly, and the friend doesn't say a word.
then I asked him why he didn't say it, and my friend replied:
"people stutter, too. If I answer, that person thinks I'm imitating and teasing."
words are the voice of the heart, and people who can speak are not only because of their high EQ, but also because they have other people in their hearts.
the moral upbringing revealed between speaking and not speaking is a sign of thoughtfulness and carefulness.
just because everyone has a mouth, just because he can talk doesn't mean he can talk. Just because he talks too much doesn't mean he is right. Very often, his mouth is foaming, which is not as good as timely silence.
it is difficult to speak, and it is even more difficult to decide what to say or not to say.
when we are alive, I hope we can all be kind, speak rationally, be silent at the right time, and grasp the size of life.