The highest state in life is to be wise as a fool.
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the Analects of Confucius tells such a story:
Zi Gong swept the floor at the door and a visitor came. The visitor asked him how many seasons there are in a year.
Zi Gong replied that the four seasons are spring, summer, autumn and winter.
visitors say, no, it's obviously three seasons.
the two men quarreled about it.
when Confucius heard the argument, he ran out to observe and said, "A year is indeed three seasons."
after hearing this, the man left happily.
after the incident, Zi Gong asked Confucius that there are obviously four seasons in a year, teacher, why did you say three seasons?
"he is a grasshopper. He was born in spring and died in autumn. He has never seen winter. You can't explain it to the three seasons at all."
do not reason with the "three seasons", this is the wisdom of the ancients!
in the final analysis, the stupidest person in the world is a reasonable person.
to talk about the right person is to aim at the target, but to say the wrong person is to cast pearls before swine.
therefore, it is better to quarrel with people who understand than to talk to people who are confused.
Life can never be separated from this theory!
never reason with these three kinds of people in your life, you will lose after talking.
Family members don't need to be reasonable
as the old saying goes, "if the light is not turned on, the reason is not clear."
No one can escape the word "reason" when he is alive. But the biggest taboo is to reason with your family.
the host Ma Dong once said something about his mother.
my mother is 76 years old, and one of her favorite things to do is to turn off the lights. As long as no one is there, she turns off the lights in the house as soon as possible.
Ma Dong did not understand this habit at first and told his mother that it would not take much electricity to keep the light on all the time, and that the frequent switch would affect the life of the lamp.
Mother answered it every time, but she couldn't help but close it.
Ma Dong did not blame him again when he saw him:
"the old man's love of economy has become a habit. No matter how much you tell her, she can't change it. Why haggle over such a trifle?"
there are no two identical leaves in this world, let alone two people!
in fact, whether you are getting along with your loved ones or communicating with your loved ones, don't try to make too much sense with them.
win truth, lose love, why bother?
when a man plays chess with his wife, he is sure to win after five moves.
but his wife insists that horses can walk "fields" because they are Chollima; soldiers can go backwards because they are special forces; elephants can cross rivers because they are Dumbo; guns can not be separated from chess, because they are anti-aircraft guns.
there is someone below who concludes that a man who does not reason with his wife is really smart.
in fact, it is.
No woman likes to listen to reason. if she has to compete, it would be nice to take part in the debate. What kind of marriage should she get married?
the word "husband and wife" is homophonic "serving his wife" and "bullying" in reverse.
this kind of happiness is called falling one thing at a time!
as the saying goes, "Home is a place of emotion, not a place of reason."
A man with a really high EQ never makes sense with a woman, because he knows that all kinds of words are not as good as a gentle hug and a warm heart comfort. Women only care about a man's attitude.
after all, love is moved by affection over time, not a yoke surrounded by reason.
Friends don't need to be reasonable
people often ask: what's it like to be with someone who is comfortable with you?
I think it is just that they will not only leave a foundation for themselves, but also save face for others, know how to observe their words, and make people feel like a spring breeze.
but there are tens of millions of people in the world, but very few people can get along comfortably with them.
in life, many people like to think of themselves as instructors and highlight their sense of superiority by reasoning, but they are often disliked when they are "excellent".
Brother Da Dong is very reasonable. When other people get divorced, he begins by saying, "Let me tell you the truth of getting along with both sexes."... "
when other people are aggrieved at work, he lists 1, 2, 3, and 4 items and complains about other people's shortcomings one by one.
even ordinary small parties can be turned into large chicken soup sites by him.
once, a friend said helplessly, "you are really tired to chat with Da Dong."
I smiled and hurriedly played a round game for Da Dong.
but when you think about it, it makes sense.
friends get along with each other in the hope that under a pile of complicated fragments of life, there is room for each other to brag and bullshit.
if there is always a long speech, no matter how reasonable it is, friends will not be happy.
people come out to talk, not to listen to your lecture.
No one can expect to live a good life by relying on the great truth.
in this world, it snows for everyone, and everyone has his own obscurity and cleanness.
when life is at a low ebb, even good advice is a chicken rib in the eyes of the listener, because what he or she wants is only a comfort.
in the words of Gui Guzi, "if the speaker listens, he must be in line with his feelings.".
means to convince others that instead of being reasonable, it is better to have real feelings.
when we interact with people, we should emit light and heat like the sun, instead of trying to change others.
making others feel comfortable is not only an ability, but also a high level of self-cultivation.
you don't need to be reasonable in the workplace
Rousseau once said: "the three most useless methods of education in the world are to be reasonable, to lose your temper, and to be deliberately moved."
this sentence is also very useful in the workplace.
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there is nothing wrong with being reasonable in the workplace, but the EQ of people who keep on being reasonable is really low.
A friend in management once told me such a thing:
there are two employees in their company, both from design background.
their superiors are aesthetically demanding, either dissatisfied with the design of the poster or picky about the color and lack of distinct personality.
in this regard, employee A can not help but cite a lot of reasons, trying to convince the boss, in the end, not only did not solve the problem, but also had a very unhappy quarrel with the boss.
on the other hand, employee B will record the boss's opinions every time, and then let the other party see the comparison picture after the revision. The original appropriate reservation will be retained, and the good suggestions will be revised in time.
employee B became a product manager all the way, and many customers named him to work with him.
it is said that the workplace is like a battlefield, where there are people, there are rivers and lakes, and the rules of rivers and lakes are to solve problems first, and then to be reasonable.
many people think that you should not reason with your boss in the workplace, because the boss is always right.
in fact, if the boss is dissatisfied, he doesn't rule out finding fault on purpose, but most of it is that you are not good enough.
as the saying goes, "all the world is for profit, and the world is bustling for profit".
the workplace is essentially a place of interest.
whether they are bosses or partners, they will trust you only if their interests and needs are met.
on the contrary, only reason has no interest, and no matter how gorgeous it is, it will become worthless.
as Carnegie once said:
"if there is a knack for success, the trick is to gain insight into the positions of others and to be able to take into account both your own and those of others."
people who are really capable will not express their opinions repeatedly, nor will they persuade others with reason, but speak with their strength.
when there is so much truth in life, when you can't change others, try to change yourself first.
I have heard a saying before, "it is impossible to go anywhere without reason."
as long as you are reasonable, you can go anywhere.
there is nothing wrong with this sentence, and there are not a few people who like to be reasonable, but we should understand that not all the reasons have to be explained clearly to others.
Zhuangzi said: "the summer worm cannot be spoken in the ice, but in time; the well frog cannot be spoken in the sea, but in the void; qu Shi cannot speak in the Tao, but is bound to teach."
everyone has experienced stories, seen scenery, and loved different people, so it is difficult to assimilate other people's values only with their own limited ideological reserves.
Don't reason with your family, because if you have love, you don't care if you have the upper hand.
do not reason with friends, because there is no so-called empathy, there is only cold and warm self-knowledge;
do not reason in the workplace, because work is always based on results.
the highest state of life in the world is to be as wise as a fool, knowing the world but not being sophisticated.
Smart people are not unreasonable, but know when to speak and when not to speak.
therefore, those who keep reasoning regardless of the occasion lose as soon as they open their mouth.
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