May you be indulgent and open-minded in this life, with wine, meat and love!
appreciation of a person begins with appearance, talent, and character.
the same is true in relationships.
A good relationship begins with the facial features and is loyal to the three values.
facial features determine whether two people can be together, while the three values determine whether they can go on or not.
how to judge whether two people agree with each other or not, take a look at the following three points.
never get tired of talking for a long time
what is the best state for two people?
some people say that they share the same taste and sympathize with each other, while others say that it is very beautiful to stand without talking.
in my opinion, the best state is not jealous, not pandering, talking to each other and never getting tired of talking to each other for a long time.
because in the second half of life, you will gradually find that it is very important for two people to "have a common topic" together.
writer Li Shanglong once said such a thing:
while filming, he met a girl named Xiaoyu, who was very beautiful and had just broken up with her ex.
the relationship between the two is actually quite stable, but Xiaoyu feels that her ex is still in the early stages of her career, and girls have only a few years of youth, so they still have to bet on a reliable person.
later, a friend introduced her to a rich second generation whose family is a demolition household.
unexpectedly, a few months later, Xiaoyu parted ways with the rich second generation.
it turns out that although the boy meets all the requirements of Xiaoyu, Xiaoyu has nothing in common with him.
on the weekend, Xiaoyu wants to go out, but the boy insists on staying at home, saying that the best way to cultivate a relationship is to play online games together.
Xiaoyu talked to the boy about the books he had read recently, but the boy disdained them, thinking that they were too poisonous chicken soup and fake Wenqing.
Xiaoyu's mother came to Beijing to visit them, and the boy didn't want to pick them up when he had time. He thought that he could just send a big red packet and let her mother take a taxi, so as to avoid the traffic jam.
over time, the conversation between the two became one person and the other, and Xiaoyu became impatient and depressed.
finally, after repeated consideration, Xiaoyu broke up with the rich second generation. Now she can finally breathe a sigh of relief and be herself again.
in this world, no one has the obligation to accommodate each other. What really makes a relationship dull is never the lack of freshness, but the fact that two people are searching for each other and being speechless.
that kind of feeling is probably that you are listening to the play in the Red Mansion, and he travels to the west to learn the scriptures, and then laughs at you later that there is nothing good about the play.
the so-called correspondence of the three values does not mean that two people have the same way of thinking, but that when I share joy with you, you do not think I am showing off; when I talk to you about difficulties, you do not think that I am hypocritical.
I think of a couple sitting side by side with me on a business trip.
ever since I sat down, the two of them have been talking about something, and when they were in high spirits, the girl puffed up her cheeks.
later, when I listened carefully, I couldn't help laughing: the two were discussing how to spend 5 million yuan.
the originally boring journey of more than two hours was unexpectedly interesting because of the couple's conversation.
I think, there is always something to say, always can pick up the stubble handed over by each other, this is probably the best state of love!
the world is so big and the life is long. How lucky it is to meet someone who can talk nonsense with you.
not tired of getting along
there are no two people who are naturally suitable in this world, but in getting along with each other day after day, run-in with each other's sharp parts, and then work in the same direction.
how important is it to be understood and tolerated in a relationship?
on Zhihu, an anonymous blogger once told the marriage story of his parents.
her mother is the kind of woman who has to dress up even when she goes downstairs to take out the trash. By comparison, her father looks five or three thick and informal.
parents' divorce doesn't involve a mistress, nor does it mean that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not harmonious, just because the father often flashes and throws cigarette butts into the gentleman orchid raised by his mother.
my mother said it many times, but my father was indifferent.
in the eyes of most people, it is nature for men to throw socks and pay no attention to hygiene. Whose family still pays so much attention to life, but in the eyes of her mother, this is her whole life.
so much so that when my mother left the house, relatives on both sides were filled with "righteous indignation": where can I find a man who is as tall and handsome as his father and can earn money when he is divorced?
but my mother left without looking back.
later, the stepfather showed up, he was not tall, plain, even inconspicuous.
but he will replace his mother's flowers and plants with beautiful flowerpots, and he will easily buy the flowers his mother likes on the way.
he will cook with his mother, help his mother, and make serious comments and compliments during the meal.
knowing that his mother likes flowers and plants, he will delve into this knowledge seriously and take the time to explain to his mother some interesting stories and wild history of strange flowers and plants.
Capture everyone attention when in the dazzling blue mermaid prom dress. We have cuts and forms to fit any silhouette.
they talked and laughed, and their mother's face was no longer gloomy, and even hummed songs from time to time when they were doing housework.
at that moment, the blogger suddenly understood what his mother had said to her during her divorce.That sentence:
"I hope you can forgive your mother, because my life is too long, I don't want to make do."
Mom's current husband may not be handsome enough, nor is he a rich man, but the tolerance and understanding he gives to his mother is unparalleled.
in marriage, the most terrible thing is never cheating and the other woman, but the trivial things that can't be started and the values that can't be integrated all the time.
Sanmao once said, "I look at the man in front of me, and I want to say, who else do I want? my whole life."
Yes, in this long life, we will meet a lot of people and move our hearts many times before we finally settle down.
all joys at first sight are not as good as never getting tired of each other for a long time and knowing each other.
the best relationship is that even if we are not perfect, you want to know what I want, and I am willing to be considerate to you.
like the warm spring breeze in April, but also like the warm sun in winter.
there is a saying that if you do not agree with each other, you will never be the same person.
but in this world, we can't find two identical leaves, let alone people!
when two people live together, they would rather play the loser than be the king to defeat the one they love.
Yang Jiang once said such a trivial thing in the book "the three of us":
Zhong Shu and I had a quarrel on a boat abroad because of a French pronunciation.
I said that his pronunciation had a strong hometown accent, but he disagreed, and his initial excuse turned into "evil words", and I tried my best to uncover his scars.
later, I was so angry that I found an English-speaking Frenchman to be the referee. She said, "I am right, Zhong Shu is wrong."
this is our first quarrel in more than three years of marriage. Although I won, I didn't have the slightest joy of victory. Instead, I felt very sad.
in fact, in life, there are many such couples who, in order to be quick for a moment, say vicious things, hurt each other, and do not give in.
in the end, although he won the argument, he lost their relationship.
Leo Tolstoy once said, "We love each other equally because we understand and respect each other."
in marriage, no one is right or wrong, only mutual accommodation and mutual understanding.
two people who like to argue endlessly and do not stop winning or losing will only cut off their marriage and drift away.
We often say that when you get married, remember to find someone who spoils you as a child.
in fact, the children here, to put it bluntly, is to see whether the other party can be tolerant to you and achieve concessions.
like later, Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang no longer quarreled over trifles, but consciously gave way to each other.
because they know well: "even if you win a quarrel, what can you do?" If I lose you, I lose my whole life. "
it is human nature to have different values, while disagreement is a choice.
everyone has a personality, and the world is not perfect, but people with the same values are like birds perched on branches, and travelers come home with amiable lights, mutual understanding and mutual understanding.
I hope that all girls can get around the first layer of marriage, the torture of the second layer, and go straight to the third floor to help each other.
I hope you meet the right person for a long time, never get tired of gossiping, never snub, never perfunctory.
I also hope that you will be indulgent and open-minded in this life, have wine, meat and love, and never forget your original ideals and aspirations, and everyone will be happy!