Please give yourself 12 seconds to explode.
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Don't let your emotions control your life
A few days ago, I saw a video on the Internet, which surprised my uncle.
it was on a bus in Shenzhen when a young man suddenly had an emotional breakdown when he was cheated to find a job.
the people next to him dodged one after another, and the driver had to stop and ask questions. Can come and go, the man not only did not calm down, but also had a big fight with the driver, wrestling on the ground, mixed with a lot of hysterical abuse.
until later, a passenger called the police, and when the police came to detain him, the man did not stop.
it is not hard to imagine that when his emotions are over, he will be filled with remorse.
the outburst of anger not only failed to solve the current problem, but also added new problems to him.
to put it bluntly, he was born to be a human being, it is impossible for everything to go well, everyone has seven emotions and six desires. When emotions accumulate to a certain extent, they are like volcanoes erupting violently and violently.
someone accidentally steps on your foot, and in a moment of anger, you can't wait to step back.
when someone misunderstands you, you get angry and rush forward to make a theory.
this is the case with trivial things, not to mention big things like lovelorn and unemployment.
in an emotional moment, no matter how smart you are, your IQ will drop to zero immediately.
all that may be left in my mind is how terrible and infuriating it is.
you simply don't realize that when you think about stormy things at this time, when you change your mood and think about it, that's all.
so don't let momentary emotions blind your eyes and control your life.
when the mood is over, it's not a matter.
look at the Round Table School. There is a very interesting topic in the first issue.
Dou Wentao, who has always been motionless, said that he has also encountered difficult times.
at that time, he was tossing and turning in bed, feeling that it was impossible to get through, and he was very anxious and sad.
however, the next day, it was the same thing, but when he woke up after a sleep, he suddenly felt as if it was no big deal.
it was only then that Dou Wentao realized: maybe things are not so high on top, but they just take it very seriously.
then he calmed down and settled the matter smoothly after a plan.
impressed by a sentence Dou Wentao said in the program:
"when the mood is over, it doesn't matter."
Yes, it's obviously the same thing, but whether your mood is calm or collapsing, what you see is different.
the human heart is like a piece of glass. The glass is covered with stains, what you see is naturally ugly; the glass is clean, and the scenery you see can be picturesque.
instead of feeling sorry for yourself, it's better to cheer up, adjust your mood and clean the glass. Then, I believe that everything will suddenly become clear.
have heard such a short story:
once upon a time there was a young man who always felt that his life was frustrated everywhere and that there were chicken feathers everywhere.
in order to solve this problem, he went to ask a master in the temple: how can I get lucky and stay away from these bad things?
the master smiled but said nothing, only dipped his hand in the water and wrote a word on the table: "annoyance."
the young man was very upset because he didn't understand what he meant. The master dipped in some water again, straightened out the hot word "annoyance" and turned it into a Sichuan character.
he said, "you see, you are upset because you think things are bent. When you calm down, come and have a look. The word 'annoyance' can also write the word 'Shun'."
it dawned on the young man.
in fact, in this world, there is never anything impassable, only the mood of impassability.
you see, the phrase "I thought the sky was going to collapse at that time" was often said after things happened.
it is normal for people to have joys and sorrows.
you can choose to fall into an emotional whirlpool and go your own way to make things worse, or you can choose to get out of emotional control and see a new landscape.
only by giving up resentment about trifles can you open a door for yourself and leave the haze behind.
there is a kind of cleverness called cold treatment
Yang Jiang once recorded such a little thing in her book Walking on the Edge of Life:
she and Mr. Qian Zhongshu were busy writing books, so they hired a young female worker, Ah Ju, to help share the housework.
however, Ah Ju is all thumbs and always makes mistakes.
one day, when it was dinnertime, she suddenly heard her daughter shout, "No, no!"
Yang Jiang hurriedly rushed to the kitchen and saw the flames soaring into the sky, and the flames on the stove rushed to the roof in the twinkling of an eye. She picked up the porcelain jar and covered it at the source of fire, which avoided a catastrophe.
it turned out that in order to save trouble, Ah Ju filled the furnace with oil without inserting a funnel. as a result, the oil spilled out and was instantly ignited when it met a fire.
when Yang Jiang learned the reason, she was so angry that she wanted to scold Ah Ju.
but when the fire was out, she calmed down and thought, "it's already happened, and it won't help to blame it." What's more, it just caught fire and did not cause any major disaster.
, she took this opportunity to have a knee-jerk relationship with Ah Ju.After a long talk, she helped Ah Ju get rid of her problems, and everyone was happy.
there is a saying that when people are angry, their IQ is close to zero, and the decisions made at this time are often the stupidest.
because when you are controlled by your emotions, you are no longer yourself, and you tend to do something you regret in a moment of anger, hurting others and yourself, but it's too late.
imagine: if Yang Jiang blindly blamed Ah Ju, what would the result be? Not only will the burnt food not come back, but it will also lead to discord with each other, which is unwise.
so, no matter what happens, please keep a calm heart, when the mood calms down, you will find that there is nothing difficult to get through.
people have joys and sorrows.
when you are happy, you will inevitably get carried away. When you are angry, you tend to get out of control.
however, extremely intense emotions often come and go quickly.
as psychologist Dr. Ronald said:
"stormy emotions often last no more than 12 seconds. Everything was destroyed when it broke out, but it was calm after that. If you control these 12 seconds, you can get rid of negative emotions. "
so please give yourself 12 seconds to explode, and then calm down and think about it:
is it really worth living like this? Can you solve this problem when you are angry?
if it is neither worth it nor solved, it would be better to be calm.